Things We Learned As Coaches Of Entrepreneurs

Wondering if you’re “qualified” to start that business or if your journey measures up? Join us as we share some of the lessons we’ve learned coaching entrepreneurs just like you! We’re sharing real stories, mindset shifts, and practical steps to help you step up confidently, embrace vulnerability, and silence the self-doubt. With each coaching experience, we’ve gathered the tips and truths that can help you build a business that’s true to your vision, without falling into the comparison trap. So, grab your headphones and let’s uncover what it takes to thrive as a bold, unstoppable entrepreneur.

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• Candice Carcioppolo
• Kat Torre

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Transcript

Hi, I'm Kat, marketer turned brand storyteller. And I'm Candice, educator turned entrepreneur. And you're listening to Not Nice, Clever. As CEOs and leaders, it's your job to always have the answers. But sometimes you need a little help. Leverage, if you will. We get it. This is the place for you. So wherever you're listening, 530 AM Club at the gym, on your way to your next meeting or putting out today's fire, let's get into it.

In today's episode of Not Nice Clever, we are sharing things that we've learned as coaches of entrepreneurs. Because if there is one thing that we have learned, one thing amongst many is that a lot of people feel like you need to be at a certain level or have checked a certain box or have done a certain thing in order to be ready or qualified to pursue entrepreneurship, to launch a business, to leave your job. And

not true as evidenced by all the people we've worked with. and so that's what we're diving into today. It's sharing, you know, some patterns, some things that we notice. and so if you feel like, you know, your journey, is, is normal or isn't ready or isn't right, or it doesn't look like everybody else's like definitely tune in because we're gonna, peel back all of the layers and the things we've learned. So Candace, where?

Where do we want to start? This is a big one. Yeah, I think that starting where starting by not comparing yourself is going to be the best thing going into entrepreneurship with the mindset that the only competition is you yesterday is the best way to approach building your business because I hear my clients often

focusing on someone else's journey. And sometimes it's with a little bit of maybe envy or jealousy. And sometimes it's just admiration. And either way, if you are looking at someone's journey and wishing it could be yours, you're wasting energy that could be focused on getting where you want to go. And so things that I've heard are like, okay, well that person is there because

they knew so and so and so and so helped them with this. And I'm like, great, who do you know? What can we, how can we leverage our network, your network to help you grow? And so focusing on your energy on the resources that you have and capitalizing on those things is always going to be more beneficial than looking at someone else and saying, well, did they actually earn that or well,

they had it easier because X, Y, Z, you're spending so much energy on things that don't matter. Yeah. Because even if, even if that's true, even if they did have an advantage or you have disadvantages, that doesn't change the situation. It does not change, you know, the parameters with which you are, you are engaging or, or, or the rules by which you're playing. And I think focusing on the things you can control and knowing that success isn't a

one size fits all, a one proven path. Like there might be overlaps, right? There might be commonalities, but every entrepreneur I have ever worked with has moments where I'm just like, holy shit, like that's insane. We need to highlight that. Like, what did you learn from that? Success is not one size fits all. Like that's really a big takeaway for me. And it's also not linear.

And I think that's really important for people to note because there are going to be ups and downs even in a single day. like yesterday, like I was just talking about. Yep. And that's completely normal for there to be, you know, things that are going really well and things that are falling apart and kind of all at the same time.

being a good entrepreneur is being able to navigate those things without it being a reflection on how successful you'll become or how smart you are or how talented you are or how skilled you are. If you can just navigate the ups and downs without questioning your ability to be successful, then I think that's like the secret.

Yes, in addition to the law of attraction. is also the secret. Yes, that is the secret. That's a real secret. Real secret. Best kept. Okay. So the next thing that we have noticed, and I feel like we've done a good job about sharing this regularly with the clever crew, but broken record y'all because repetition is the mother of all skill. The idea of imposter syndrome of feeling like

You're a fraud feeling like you're unqualified, feeling like you're undeserving, feeling like who do you think you are? You don't have a degree in this. You're a dropout. You have no experience. How dare you? We're getting personal with the cat. Yeah, we are. Well, this is good. Well, because like it's literally things that pop up. Yeah, totally. And it's like at every stage. I struggled with this before I knew that there was a word for it.

And now that I know that there's a word for it, was like, it like, you're not a boogeyman. Like there's a name for it. And everybody at various stages, regardless of how much money is in their bank account, regardless of how many awards they've received, regardless of the size of their company or their team, everybody gets bit by this. Every now and then. Yeah. I don't think anyone's immune to imposter syndrome and

The only way that you get over this is by showing up anyways, even if you're feeling it. And I think that when people show up, even if they're in the midst of a imposter syndrome moment and they continue to show up. flare, yeah. I think it actually encourages other people to continue to show up as well. So there are many moments in my business and career when I've felt that.

And I'm sure there will be many more. But I'm not stopping. Yeah, I think the analogy not an analogy, but a reframe that I had shared, we shared it on one of our earliest episodes of not nice clever, where we reframed imposter syndrome as literally just a growth signal. Like

Like when you were a kid and your bones were achy and you had to take Tylenol and your parents were like, it's okay, you're going to be stronger. The pain will go away. You're going to be fine. You're like, okay. And then the next morning you're like, it's gone. It's not that bad. And then you get taller. It's like, you feel it, thank it, because it means you're growing. You're growing. Yeah. It's a signal that you're stepping outside of your comfort zone and that's how you become more skilled.

I think just knowing that you're not alone in it, that everyone has felt it and will continue to, makes it feel less impactful or less negative. True.

another, I actually have an interesting story about imposter syndrome that happened yesterday. So I'll share that. That was on a call with a new client and I think it's like our second session. And one of the styles of video that I was introducing him to was a vlog style for Instagram. So kind of a real, but that takes someone along for the day because he a lot of really cool things a day in the life day in the life. He's a realtor.

works with a lot of really cool people and like beautiful developments. And I want people to see his journey. He's also a dad and, just lots of cool things that he's doing in his life. Yeah. So I said, Hey, let's just try this and we'll just try to a month for the next couple months and we'll look back and see how they go. He's like, no, I can't do that. Who am I for someone to care about how I spend my day? They don't know me.

And it just made me realize that that's representative of so many people. Like the clever crew who's listening right now has definitely said that. Who am I? My life is not interesting enough. I don't do cool things. This is just normal for me. I just wake up and this is my life. Who cares about it? But I like to remember that people are inherently nosy.

They are. They want the tea. They want the tea. I know I want the tea. All the time. Yes. And if people are inherently nosy, let's give them something to talk about. Let's just give them something to talk about. They're going to talk about something. Might as well give them something to talk about. And then it was interesting because he was like, now that you say that, I have had a couple friends from high school who, you know, haven't talked to in 20 years.

send me messages saying, know, congratulations or good job on that or, you know, I see you doing X, Y, Z. I'm like, yeah, because even though you haven't talked to them in 20 years, they're still looking at Facebook page. They're still checking out you on LinkedIn. And even if they've never liked or commented or anything, every once in a while, they're going to be like, hey, saw that you're doing this. Cool. Good job, And that means they're thinking about you. And that's the whole reason we're showing up on social media.

but he was feeling major imposter syndrome that was going to keep him from taking the action because he's asking, who am I to? Why does this matter? Who would care about me? Right. I'm not important enough or interesting enough. Yes. I know. It's It's lies. People don't believe those voices in your head. Listen to your coaches. to your coaches. every person who you admire has felt

that at some point. So another pattern that we've noticed when working with entrepreneurs is that, yes, they come to us to partner with us on understanding frameworks and understanding strategy and being very strategic. know, clever crew loves to be strategic and work smarter, not harder. But we also know and see that they prioritize the power of a positive

optimistic, abundantly oriented mindset. They know that that can often be the tipping point, the X factor, because sometimes it's a knowledge gap where people come to us and they need to learn something. But other times it's for the accountability, it's for the support, it's for reframing how they're looking at things and giving them perspective, right? Yeah. And that's why you see so many

people like Tony Robbins or Oprah or Mel Robbins, just all these people who are really teaching you mindset work that allows you to take that next step. And that's why we talk a lot about exactly who you surround yourself with because you often take in the mindset of the people you spend the most time with.

And you want that to be people who are on a similar trajectory. But if you're thinking about any of those personal development books, like Think and Grow Rich and all of those Rich Dad Poor Dad and all those things, so many of those books are just really not about strategy necessarily. They're just about mindset. And the reason those books are about mindset is because it is the catalyst to all of the success that you want.

Yeah, there is very little usefulness in paying a coach, investing with a coach or into a program, whatever it might be, whether it's on demand or live for a specific result, for a specific strategy, for a specific framework. If you don't actually believe you're capable of implementing it. Yes. If you don't believe the results are even possible for you, it's a waste of your time and your money and your energy.

So yeah, full stop. Start here guys. All right. What else do we notice? The next thing you notice is that clarity drives action. And sometimes this is so simple, but sometimes this is just literally writing out the steps. So let's say, you know that you want to

post three days a week. Great. Let's get a calendar for the month of October and for three days, let's just write the topics of each post. And now there's just a little bit of clarity. And if you have that little bit of clarity and you can actually look at it or feel it in your hands, you're more likely to take that next step than if you just said you're going to do it. And so sometimes

clarity comes from brainstorming and writing things down and putting something in a framework or using a template because then you can actually see it feels more real instead of just this thing that's in your mind that is that feels maybe a little annoying because it doesn't feel concrete enough. So making things concrete and that I feel like I'm on a roll right now with that and I don't know if it's like.

Pregnancy brain is requiring me to get more organized. But like I'm getting organized in all of the ways because like for the content lab, for example, like he's supposed sporadically in the feed there. And I'm like, nope, I'm posting five days a week. On Mondays I'm posting about this. On Tuesdays I'm posting about that. On Wednesdays, I just like literally have it and it's in a document in my Google Drive now. And if I deter from it, I'll just go back and make a note and be like, hey, I felt like that was wrong for this day.

This is what I did instead. So the next time I do the content lab, I'm not starting from nothing. have those, those notes and I have reflected on them. And so everything is becoming a system. Everything is becoming a process. I mean, that's like, I'm hyper focused on doing that right now with literally all of the things in my business so that someone could be me one day. Well, nobody could be you, Candice. Let's be honest.

Nobody could be me, but like what if I could just show up here and have a blast with you and I don't have to do all the little things. All the details. Yeah. Well, this is okay. So this is like another another element of like that clarity of knowing where you want to go. Right. Like I feel like when clients ask us, you know, what what opportunity should I say yes to or what should I do next or should I should I do this? Should I not do that? And my question is always

What do you want? Where are we going? Where is future you 12 months from now? What are they doing? What are they saying yes to? What are they saying no to? Or what do you need to say no to today so that you can get what you want 12 months from now? One thing we talked about so much easier. Yeah, one thing we've talked about before, and I'm clever is, is saying yes to someone else saying no to yourself. And if it is, then you have to say no to that person instead of yes.

but you don't know that unless you know where you're going. Yeah. Otherwise you're just gonna, you're gonna end up. It's like, imagine like, look, we, okay, there's two types of people in this world. Will is one type. I'm another. Candice, I don't know which type you are. I'm about to find out. When you're driving somewhere, do you just like go by the street signs or by how you know the city or do you always plug it into GPS? I always plug it into GPS. Okay, thank God.

Okay. So yeah, so do so do I. Will doesn't he has this like, know. know. That's because I'm like newer to San Diego. So maybe that's why, but like, maybe. Yeah. I don't. I'm trying to think in Vegas when I lived there for 10 years, did I plug it into GPS? I don't know. See, I always do not only not, not just for like the directions, but to estimate my time and to make sure I show up on time. Right. And I account for traffic and I buffer this and I buffer that. So imagine like,

If you want to get to somewhere by a certain time, if you want achieve a certain goal in the next six months, like you need to know your GPS to get there. And like it makes it very easy. Like the maps app, take a left two blocks ahead, take a right, merge onto this free, you know, if your goals are the same thing. Right. And there might be a detour and there might be an accident that happens that changes the route. And that's okay, but you still know where you're going. Yes.

Yeah, I like this analogy a lot. feel like we're gonna refer back. are. That was a good one. y'all. Thank you. Okay. Another thing we notice. okay, we need to rebrand this word because I'm like so over this word. I'm so over it. But okay, guys, I'm gonna say it and then Candace, gonna help me rebrand the word. The power of consistency and being consistent.

I think it's part of the secret. You got to be consistent and so many people don't want to. This client that I just started with, he was also like, okay, in six months, how many followers am I going to have? I'm like, I don't know. And I honestly don't give a shit. I don't care how many followers you have. Are we here for followers or impact and revenue and business? Yes, exactly. was like, I care more about you increasing your revenue.

you having more conversations, you growing your network, building strategic partnerships, being visible, giving someone something to talk about, building a library of content that shows your expertise. I care about all of those things more than I care about how many followers you have. And I don't think he liked that answer. But they usually don't. Yeah. But that was the truth. But when I said

Aren't you here because on our first call you said you wanted to make this revenue goal? He was like, yeah. I was like, well, that's what I'm focused on. Not how many followers you have, but you hitting that revenue goal. So then I think he felt a little bit better about it. But it is about being consistent even when the data isn't showing you what you want it to show you.

And our friend Chelsea Pites talks about this all the time. She says, love your lurkers. And people are watching even if they're not commenting, even if they're not liking, even if they're not sharing, they are watching and you're still making an impact. And people are just using social media differently, especially these last few weeks. don't know if you've experienced a Kappa. I mean, you can definitely see a difference in the amount of views that

I'm getting and my clients are getting on Instagram, like they're definitely lower than they were before. But that's not keeping me from showing up because I understand the power is in the connections to the right people. And this is, we say this all the time, but it's like going to the gym. The first day is really hard and...

Maybe show up for two weeks and nothing's changed and you don't feel any different and you don't, the scale's not moving. But if you show up for that third week and that fourth week, you realize you could do a little bit more for a little bit longer. And then your pants start feeling a little looser. And then maybe you're still not seeing the number on the scale, but you're starting to just feel happier or small other things that are indicators that you are moving in the right direction. That's not necessarily a number.

I have a family friend who had a baby a little under a year ago, I'd say like nine or 10 months ago. And I don't see her all the time because she lives in Florida. And I saw her a few months ago. And obviously I see her once every four or five months. And she was wearing this cute like halter top. And the first thing I noticed when I saw her was her shoulders.

And I was like, damn girl, was like, you look good. Like, I mean, obviously she wore the top, she was showing it off, she knew. But like, for me to say that and notice that, and I don't see her all the time. It's like, it's the same thing with social, with content, with branding. Like, it's when other people start to notice it, you know you're making that impact. You know that the annoying myths of having to show up every day, even when people aren't watching, which is probably the most important time to show up.

makes an impact over time. And it's, it's those people that don't give up. When there's no like physical evidence, they know they're playing a longer game than just like the right now and then throwing in the towel. A couple months ago, two things happened on the same day that made me feel like, okay, we're doing things right over here. Okay, one I was at the airport Dom and I were about to get on a plane and

Our friend Dan, who works at solid with us, sent me a message and he said, so my wife thinks she saw you or heard your voice at the San Diego airport. said, that could be you. Were you there? I like, that definitely was me. I've never spoken to his wife. I never, we've never communicated and she knows my voice. Like, wow.

What an impact. Like that's huge. She recognized me. Well, thank you. You're an ASMR potentially according to Dom. And so like that happened. But then the other funny thing that happened on that exact same day was I have a friend, a good friend who lives in Florida and she was visiting New York and she was in New York talking to other real estate agents and they were talking about social media and someone was like,

do you follow Candice Cartiopolo? Like she's cool. She does all this stuff. And like this woman who I don't know, realtor, who I've never met was telling my friend how awesome I am. Not knowing that that girl was my friend, right? Yeah. And so of course my friend was like, my gosh, met this woman. I was like, I have no idea who that person is. And that means that people who aren't liking, people who aren't commenting,

I would have recognized a name if I saw her regularly. We know our people. Are still talking about us and what we do and what we put out there. And so those are indicators that things are working. If you're right now feeling like you are being consistent, but you are not yet seeing the numbers change as you would like, I would focus on what people are saying.

In real life, when you go to your team meeting, when you're out and about in the community, are people asking you about things that you've posted? Are people saying, my gosh, how was your trip? When you've never mentioned that you went on a trip. Are people saying, congratulations on XYZ. I saw that you did that. That means they're listening if they're saying things like that, or maybe they're even saying it in a negative way. Okay. So you're making TikToks now. Like you hear that too, like,

whatever kind of cringy. Whatever that tells you that it's working. So I would focus on anecdotal evidence. Yeah, that what you're putting out there is making an impact and it's landing. That literally happened. That literally happened yesterday. I was on a workshop and I was kind of like facilitating it between these two like panelists. And we hopped on a few minutes before going live with everybody. And I had never met

either of these two gentlemen and the our mutual kind of connection who was facilitating this was like, and let me introduce the cat and one of them he's like, I know cat and I'm like, I no idea who this man is. I I don't ever see him. And he's like, yeah, he's like, how are you setting settling into Philly? And I'm like, he's like, I saw your story. I'm like, and then I just like I was like, I was like content man. That's what he said. It's crazy. laughing.

It's like I'm settling in great. It's so yeah. So I think that evidence. Yeah, I think I've the story before, but it always makes me laugh. So when my sister, my sister-in-law was pregnant just a months ago and we didn't talk for like three weeks, which in pregnancy terms is like forever months. And right. then she finally messaged me and was like, girl, where have you been? How come we haven't talked like what the heck? I was like, I'm sorry. I've just been really busy.

And she was like, well, you know, what's funny is I talked to my mom. So she talked to her mom, not my mom, by the way, she was my sister-in-law. And my mom said, well, Candace was just in Phoenix. And then she spoke in Las Vegas and she did all these things. And my sister-in-law was like, mom, when did you last talk to Candace? She's like, I just follow her stories. And she just like knew everything about my life and what I've been up to. And she was telling my sister, yeah, well, that's why she hasn't called because, you know, she's doing all this stuff. Like she rattled it all off.

And I hadn't talked to her in six months, but she knew my life. if she, who is not even my ideal client, necessarily, right? She's not a realtor. She's not building a business. But she is watching my stories every day. Guaranteed if she goes somewhere and someone's talking about social media, she's going to be like, I have someone who can help you and say my name, you know? And that's exactly what I want.

Yeah. Yeah, that is such a good story. It's so silly. It's a little thing that people don't realize is important because if you're creating content and you're putting yourself out there, you are becoming top of mind for people. Mm hmm. Memorability. And they feel connected. The connection is everything. Yep. Love it. Okay.

this last one. Okay, so rounding out the last thing, last pattern that you know, we see as coaches of entrepreneurs. This is a big one. We preach this. This is literally why we have a podcast we can share and be open and be vulnerable because we've realized vulnerability. I didn't always see it as a strength. I didn't always see it as an asset in business. And now we being vulnerable.

for the sake of wanting to just connect and to lower people's guard so that I can have a conversation with them without them being like, who is this person? Gets me business, garners me business without me even trying. I'm not trying to do that. I'm just trying to connect like a human. And I think it was Simon Sinek. I was watching a real one time and he talked about how the quickest way to build trust is to just simply be vulnerable and to be open and to genuinely care.

And so if you've been staying away from that because you think it's going to make you seem weak or like you don't have your shit together or unprofessional, not true. Yeah.

One thing that Dom is really good at, my husband, is accepting help and asking for help. And I feel like that is a form of vulnerability because you're like, I know I can't do this alone. I know I'm not the best equipped person to do this. I know I don't have the full skill set that I need and I am open to your help and I would appreciate your help.

And that is like such a huge asset to him in his business and in his relationships because he's just honest about, I'm not sure if I'm good at this, like I want to be, or I want to do this well, so I'll partner with whoever I need to partner with to make this make sense and to be successful in this. And I think that so many of us as entrepreneurs

are afraid to say that. Like, are afraid to say, I don't know how to do every single thing. Or maybe I'm not an expert in this one part. And the reality of it is people want you to just own it and say, know what, I don't actually know that, but I have someone who might be able to help. Or I personally need help with this. Can you help me? Yeah. I think the whole phrase of like, fake it till you make it.

It got like so much good press and it like became the thing but I don't think that it's as Powerful as it used to be if it was ever powerful to begin with I think being open and honest and transparent and acting as if but also practicing self-awareness right Yeah Yeah, I actually overheard him say this say something like this when when we were at the

happy hour in New York a few weeks ago, was, you and I were talking about something and then I just like eavesdropped accidentally where he was talking to one of our clients and he's like, he's like, well, I'm not super aware of like the laws in this state. He's like, so educate me if I'm wrong, but here's what I'm seeing. And like, could you just like walk me through that from your perspective? And I was like, that's really cool. Cause he's just met this person. Obviously she's your client. So like, you know, he knows somewhat of her, but that was just super cool to basically be like,

I think this might be wrong, but this is my impression. you correct me? And it's just, it's such a simple thing. And I guarantee you it built trust. It brings down walls in people and that builds trust because he's not trying to pretend like he knows everything and he's willing to listen and he's willing to be wrong. Yeah. So powerful, such a strength. Yes. So vulnerability, lean into it.

It's okay. does not make you weak. It makes you stronger.

And those are all the things that we want to share, at least in this episode. I feel like we could easily do a follow up. if you want to part two, other patterns, other things that are really powerful that we've noticed while coaching entrepreneurs, feel free to slide into our DMS on Instagram at not nice clever. And we'll shoot you an answer because you know, we do not gatekeep here.

Thanks for joining us on Not Nice, Clever. Remember to follow Not Nice, Clever wherever you listen to audio. And if you haven't already, drop that five star review. Share your takeaways. Tell us your story. We love to hear it. Signing off, you're not so nice, but so clever besties that mean business. See you soon.