Thriving In Chaos: Krys Benyamein On Finding Fulfillment in the Hustle

What does it take to balance ambition, family, and fulfillment? To say today's guest wears a lot of hats is an understatement. We are chatting with Krys Benyamein—a realtor, father, husband, content creator and Mount Everest climber!!!  

On this episode, Krys opens up about the lessons from his immigrant upbringing, and how chasing big, audacious goals like summiting Everest while balancing business and family can teach us everything we need to know about resilience, focus, and gratitude.

From finding purpose in the chaos to raising grounded kids in a world of abundance, we explore it all. .

If you’ve ever felt like you’re on a hamster wheel or struggled to figure out what “success” really means to you or how to balance it all, this episode will hit home. Don’t miss it!

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Check out Krys' Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/sold-on-social-media/

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• Not Nice Clever
• Candice Carcioppolo
• Kat Torre

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Chapters

• 0:00 Episode Trailer
• 1:20 Introducing Krys Benyamein
• 2:27 Juggling Multiple Roles: The Immigrant Mentality
• 6:11 Lessons from Family: Balancing Work and Parenthood
• 9:03 Raising Children with Drive and Purpose
• 12:25 Operating from Abundance: A Mindset Shift
• 15:42 Building Relationships in Real Estate
• 18:03 Finding Motivation Beyond Goals
• 21:44 Vulnerability in Business and Social Media
• 24:06 The Mental Challenge of Climbing Everest
• 25:32 The Clarity of Climbing Goals
• 29:21 The Impact of High-Risk Activities on Relationships
• 31:07 The Concept of Masogi: Finding Purpose
• 34:22 Defining Success Beyond Numbers
• 37:51 The Illusion of Having It All Figured Out
• 40:18 Taking Action Towards Opportunities
• 47:07 Overcoming Mental Blocks in Content Creation

Transcript

If we are not actively doing things to get us closer to whatever it is we are trying to achieve, why are we surprised when it doesn't happen? When you can operate your business from a place of abundance, shit's gonna work out. If we don't have that faith, that's when we start cutting corners. There's no rule book, there's no route.

It is up to us to figure out how to accomplish this idea of like happiness, success. Let's talk about Everest. It is so much easier than it seems. I did not expect you to say that. I was not expecting that either. Let me put an asterisk by it. If you really want it, it is way easier than it seems. The goal is very clear. The summit is the goal.

when I was training for Everest, it was so overwhelmingly busy, but I was also so overwhelmingly fulfilled.

It's that old adage, like, it's just like, when you're really busy, you manage to figure out how to do everything. But then when you have like one thing on your calendar, it never gets done. And you just like bump it and bump it and bump it. The question we have to ask ourselves is what are we rushing towards exactly? Right? Like, what am I in this big hurry to get to? Because once I get there, then what? The haters are going to hate anyways. I think about that stuff. The haters hate themselves. So like, that's not going to change. I think it's like that constant reminder.

Like, what are you doing it for? How long do you see yourself doing it? What satisfaction is it giving you? Everyone's just figuring it the fuck out. Life is hard. Like, this shit is hard. We are so excited to have today with us Chris Benjamin, who is incredible. I had the pleasure of seeing him speak in San Diego and then again at Bam Mania in Las Vegas. And every time I...

sit and listen to Chris, I am moved and inspired. And I see such amazing qualities in you, Chris, including your genuine care for people, your family, and your drive and motivation to be successful. And I'm truly inspired every single time. That's exactly why I was begging my producer to make sure that she got you on our show. So I'm you guys are in for a treat today, clever crew, because Chris is incredible.

So we're just gonna dive right in, Chris. Let's do it. Thank you for having me. Yes. Okay. So you've worn many hats over the years. I recently learned that you, lived in Vegas and that you and I have that in common. So you lived in Vegas for a while and, went to Boyd law school. You are a realtor, a content creator, and, you climbed Mount Everest. So you're just all around. You have a lot of amazing things going on. and you're also a dad and

That's a newer dad with the baby on the way. So congratulations. Thank you. And so tell me a little bit about what's kind of like that. Is there a common thread that pulls all of those things together? Like, how did you go from how do you wear all these hats? Yeah. Well, I think like many people wearing a lot of hats, I don't wear them all very well. Right. So I do my best to juggle everything.

I think where I get it from is my immigrant upbringing mentality. think, not I think, my sister and I are first generation Americans. My mom and dad are from Egypt originally. And I think when you are the product of not just an immigrant household, but a product of a family who's trying to make it, there's kind of this...

overlying energy of like, you got to be working hard, you got to be doing more. And then it's funny, where they say you end up marrying somebody like your family, but I ended up marrying somebody who is also very driven and very motivated. So it just doesn't seem like I'm in the environment in which sitting on the couch and eating bonbons is like incredibly acceptable. Don't get me wrong, we have plenty of nights where we sit and chill.

But it certainly gives me the sense of satisfaction or purpose to have a lot of things in the air. It gives me a lot of stress too. And now I reevaluate what's important to me, especially as I start growing a family. Because as you guys both know, once you have other people that you're responsible for, it really makes you question where you're putting your time. Yeah, absolutely.

So you and Kat have this in common. Kat also comes from her mother's an immigrant. And there is, I think that sense of making the best of this opportunity that her mom sacrificed for. I'll let you speak a little bit about that, Kat. Yeah, no, I thank you, Candace. It's funny, the overlying like...

pressure or expectation of working hard was big. it's like, you know, get straight A's, do all the extracurriculars. I was in ballet for years and all sports. And at the time I hated it, but now it's really taught me really good like habits. I don't want to say necessarily discipline, but just like my devotion to when I want to accomplish something, even if it's hard, it's going to be worth it once I have accomplished it. Yeah. And I love that we have that in common, Chris.

I think with parents, they do everything they can to instill, I mean, isn't that the goal with everything that you learn or people that you surround yourself with is like, how do you take the good stuff and leave the bad stuff? Like, how do you pull the pieces to apply to your business in life and then leave everything else? And I'm really grateful for all the hours my parents worked and how much they sacrificed. I'm a second generation real estate agent now. So my mom and dad are both in this business. And that was really the big motivation in me getting into real estate.

was having these great mentors that I could lean on, that I wanted to take advantage of. But as I have gotten older and now starting my own family, I recognize that mom and dad did the best they could with their circumstance. And now it's kind of up to me, the next generation to take the good and kind of leave the bad. And as a young father, as a new father, one thing I'm really trying to figure out is,

How do I make the money? How do I hit the goals? How do I have these sales? But then still be really present, right? And I think that's truly, you know, maybe I find the answer in this podcast today. But you know, that's kind of the process that I'm working through now is how do I get everything that I want, but still be the dad and still be the husband and still be

you know, the business person, because I think that's, that's really the struggle that I'm feeling now at 34, going to be 35 next year is how do you wear these hats? Well, or what am I willing to get rid of to get the other stuff that I want? Like, do I want to make less money to be more present? Do I want to make more money and be less present? It's, I wish it was easy. It was way easier before the baby, way easier. So this is a selfish.

question. love to use our podcast for me to learn and get answers to my own questions that I have. But you know, our baby is coming in January. And one thing that Dom and I talk about a lot that makes me a little nervous is that, you know, Dom and I's families worked really hard to get us to a certain, you know, economic financial level. And I saw that with my parents, I saw them from

When I was younger, by the time I was in high school, by the time I was in college, they really had established themselves. My mom's also a real estate agent. So I got to see and feel by where we were living and what we were able to do. I got to see the financial progress that they had made and they brought us to an amazing place. And now Dom and I kind of took that torch and ran with it. we've been blessed and fortunate and we've worked really hard to build these things that are

child is going to start in a totally different place than we did. My concern is that will that mean that they don't have the same type of drive that Dom and I have because they've started at this whole new level and maybe they didn't have to earn it in the same way that we did. Is that a concern for you? Does that come up? Yeah. Well, I, I certainly asked myself like, what did my parents do?

because I don't think I'm a brat and I'm not like, addicted to drugs. Like I pray, I feel like I'm a good person. And I certainly have that fear is like, how do you avoid raising a spoiled kid? Right? How do you avoid that silver spoon mentality? And I don't know I have the answer because my kid is still too small to see if I've like screwed it up or not. They are learning behaviors, right? So I think that work hard.

that grind, that discipline, even if they have abundance that you're providing them, the work ethic is what they are learning, right? I think what you need to be aware of and what I am trying to be aware of is how do I take the best parts of what mom and dad did and leave the rest? So like, I give you the example. Like, they paid for my college, they bought me a Range Rover, they missed

like me getting my first degree black belt, they never put me to bed at night, I had a live-in nanny that took care of me. I'm grateful for it all, I'm grateful for it all. But I understand that they sacrificed a lot to give me a lot. And now I'm trying to figure out how do I accomplish what they've done but put some bumpers on my life so that I can be the one that takes them to school in the morning.

your parents, in my opinion, sacrificed a lot so that you don't have to do the same shit that they did. And the struggle is that we have this guilt inside, and I certainly have this guilt, and you guys being business owners, I'm sure you feel this guilt. And as a woman, you wear so many more hats of like guilt and shame than a, like, I think women have it so much worse because you guys now are expected to take care of a house.

but you're also expected to work, right? Like women are sort of like at this point, like women are working. But for men, we definitely get a pass when it comes to like organizing the kids' doctor's appointments or making sure the groceries are in the fridge. And I think as a woman, you're carrying a lot of these roles that like the men don't necessarily do, but the important piece or I guess where I'm going with it for like young professionals with these kids is like,

If you have been given opportunity to not be ashamed of it, but how do you take what your parents worked so hard for so that you make the next generation better? Because in my opinion, if I'm equally as absent as my folks, then I've done something wrong. Yeah, that's not progress, right? Yeah, where's the progress? Like, I have the degrees, I speak the language, like I'm gonna make, like I shouldn't be sacrificing my relationships.

for the American dream because they did that for me. So I would just continue working hard. I don't know if that answers your question, but they need to see you grinding whatever it is, wherever it is you want to grind. And they learn that. And I think exposing them to the way the rest of the world lives. Yeah, knowing that everything is relative. Yeah.

and perspective, like maintaining perspective, regardless of where you're at, I feel like can be a very humbling, grounding thing to have for a kid. And I think especially like you living in San Diego, having access to everything in Southern California, it's really easy to see the way the rest of the world lives, right? You just like go outside and drive down the street and you can see the abundance that we have. And I think it's just like grounding kids in that.

My guy is still too young to even understand these things. He's a year and a half, but I'm certainly mindful of not wanting to raise like bratty kids. I'm also mindful, especially now of like, if I, so I'm 34, I feel very grateful with where I am in my life. If I trust the universe is going to provide me success because like it's been that way my whole life, why is it gonna change now?

How do I want to spend my time to feel fulfilled? Like how do I want to spend my time? Like you guys in this podcast, I'm inspired, I'm blown away. I'm like, it's not jealous. Like I'm, it inspires me, right? I'm just like, yes, these women are on the pursuit to what they want. And I think when you can operate your business from a place of abundance, like it's gonna work out, like shit's gonna work out.

It allows you to create, serve from a different perspective. You know what I mean? As 2024, I think a lot of your audience is real estate agents. Like a lot of people have had a hard year. A lot of people have had a very hard year. Some people are having record breaking years. Good for them. The point is if we are so focused on, let me say it different. If we had trust that we were going to be able to like pay our bills, make the sales that we need.

I think we would give the clients the attention and experience that they deserve, right? Because I know we've all been there, at least like salespeople, it's just like, now that they're a client, I'm like focused on the next one and I'm not really focused on the service that I'm giving them, right? That's totally the issue in real estate, not with these podcasts, but like with so much real estate education, it's like, how do you acquire the lead? How do I get the lead? How do I like say,

this like objection overcoming hook, whatever it is. But we're not so focused on like, well, how do they feel when they are our client? Like, how do they feel when they're on the other side of the table? And I just feel like, especially now going into 2025, with what consumers expect, we have to trust that we're going to put food on the table. Because if we don't have that faith, that's when we start cutting corners at the buyer consult. That's when we start cutting corners at like,

the listing presentation when you're showing the houses, but you want to like skip a house because you're too eager to like, I don't know, get home. Get the next one. You're operating from a scarcity mindset that's keeping you from thinking more expansively or building a deeper relationship. Exactly. And we know here at Not Nice Clever, we talk all the time about like, this is a relationship. This is not a lead. It's a human being who

has a desire that you could potentially help them with. And that's very different than a lead, right? In air quotes, heavy air quotes for you that are listening. that's see why I invited Chris, because like, great. He is amazing. I'm so glad. Yeah, clever crew, you owe all of your gratitude to Candice for advocating. But I know it's so much resonance on so many levels. think

Chris, I would love to see as a civilian, because I'm not a real estate agent and my parents weren't ones like you and Candice, but I would love to see more loyalty driven and more experience driven initiatives and activities from agents and really prioritizing the lifetime experience and the lifetime value of having a client that always rewards you or refers you or shouts your name.

Like you had mentioned Dan McKinnon talking about Candice and I before you hopped on here. We didn't pay him to do that. We didn't ask him to do that, but we always go the extra mile. And it's like the moment somebody is a client, it's not like we're just like onto the next. Like that's the beginning. Totally. I think with sales or real estate sales, and that's what's funny about this business. I even ask myself internally is you have a lot of real estate agents that seem to be working towards a means to an end.

You have these guys who sell a lot of houses that are like on the pursuit to start a mega team. And then they're always saying, it's like, you go to these events and you'll ask team leaders, like, are you in production? Are you out of production? You'll hear these agents be like, I'm working to get out of production. And it's an interesting concept because if we are in this business with the mindset that you're going to be in it forever, I am less concerned if cat wants to buy a house.

in the fourth quarter of 2024 or in the third quarter of 2025? Because one way or another, you're going to buy a house. And one way or another, if I'm in this business, you're going to buy a house with me. So why not operate from that mindset? But I think that's the struggle is, where do you think you're going to be in five years? That's the question. This is going to be published in January. And I know we are talking towards the end of the year.

As we feel the need to rush through things, the question we have to ask ourselves is, what are we rushing towards exactly? What am I in this big hurry to get to? Because once I get there, then what? You know what I mean? The content, the business, the health.

That's been my fatal flaw. Like that has been my, this is my Achilles heel is if I don't have something that I am like laser focused to be chasing after, I have a struggle finding motivation to just like keep going every day. And that is not a good place. That's not a way to live, right? Like I know we need goals, but I shouldn't have to like.

sign up to climb Mount Everest to be motivated to go to the gym. I should just want to be healthy, right? Like, I shouldn't want to sell a hundred houses to want to serve families. Like I should just want to like get up and pick up the phone if this is the business I'm in. So I think it's like that constant reminder, like what are you doing it for? How long do you see yourself doing it? Like, where do you What does it feel? Yeah, like what?

What satisfaction is it giving you? Life is hard. Like this shit is hard. There's no rule book as much as Candice and Chris and I sound like we know what we're talking about. We are only just taking the next best step and trying to learn and be a little bit better than what we were yesterday. Then, then, then what our parents provided us. That's all you can do. Totally. And I feel a bit more comfortable. Uh, I think because this audience is real estate agents, I feel like I can be a bit more transparent.

But I have a hard time as I'm sure other agents have a hard time being vulnerable on social. Not because I have issues with being vulnerable, but I have... Clearly. Like clearly you are very open in the way that you talk here. But it's interesting that social media is different. Well, because you have to be mindful of...

who you are communicating to. So if I know that my social media is a mix of like real estate agents and consumers, but I still want the consumer to know that I'm consumer focused, I don't feel like it's safe for me to go online and be like, I'm having a mental health crisis. I don't want my seller to see me say I'm having a mental health crisis. And it's not because I'm shy about it, but because like,

I don't see Coca-Cola doing that. And if they did, it would be bad, right? But to the real estate audience, and that's the piece that I feel like is worthy for me to say is like, I do have struggles. And it took me like 25 minutes to get to the gym this morning. And it was only my second time at the gym this week, right? And I am questioning.

everything I am doing before any of it goes out these days because I am just like a human and I want to get better and I don't know if it's we're in our feelings at the end of the year but like at the end of the year you're just like what the fuck did I do for the last 11 months? How do I do next year better? Like I don't know I'm grappling with a lot of things as I'm sure a lot of people are that are trying to get better.

I think that question of how much to share is too much on social. We have gotten that a lot. And I think the way that I have reconciled it in my head, and we've shared this on prior episodes, but it's like, if you are going through a difficult time, go through it in private, go through it behind closed doors, do the work, heal, reflect. And then once you have gotten enough distance away from it,

and you can glean wisdom from it, then share. But don't share when you're in the moment. Because you're right, if I were your potential buyer or your potential seller, I'd be like, my god, is Chris okay? I care about you as a human, but I don't necessarily maybe want to work with you as an agent. Versus if you were to talk about something, hey guys, I was going through something really difficult several months ago. Here's what I learned from it. Here's the steps that I've taken to grow, and here's how it's making me better today. I love that.

Yeah, I love that because I've been having that back and forth. Like, do I share? Do I share to inspire people? But then I'm just like, I don't have it figured out yet. Like, I'm not comfortable. I heard a creator say one time and I wish I remembered who it was so can give them credit. they said, share scars, not wounds. that was really, that was like the visually.

visualization I needed to really understand that it is important to be vulnerable and that is how you strengthen and deepen your relationships. But at the same time, Kat's right. Like I wouldn't feel comfortable in being like, okay, this is the guy that's listing my house. He's clearly going through some major stuff right now. Is he actually working on this? You know, like I would have that doubt in my mind. But if I, if I then see you in six months, you've sold my house at this point and you're like, Hey, you know,

Three, six months ago, I was going through this thing and it was a really dark place in my life. It was a dark time and these are the steps I took. And like, if you're there, I wanna talk to you, I'm here for you. I get it. Then like, then I'm like, damn, Chris was going through all that and he still, you know, made this like seem easy. Like, I appreciate him. You know, I appreciate that. Right. I think that's great advice. I love that. Share scars, not wounds. Yeah, that's right. So I wanna,

a little bit in the conversation here because one thing that I am in awe of as somebody who is not, like I work out for my own mental health, right? And I don't have a body fat percentage goal. I kind of have like a flexibility goal, because I know flexibility is the key to longevity, a key. But let's talk about Everest. I would love to know because the people that I have seen that have accomplished great feats,

It's less about the physical prowess and more about the mental prowess. I would just love like what inspired it? What was it like for you? if you know, just share a bit about that. is so much easier than it seems. And that's why climb. I did not expect you to say that. was not expecting that either. No, it is like, let me put an asterisk by it. If you really want it, it is.

way easier than it seems. And let me tell you why. In life, as mom, dad, business owner, husband, there's no rubric, there's no rule book, there's no route. It is up to us to figure out how to accomplish this idea of happiness, success. It's so amorphous. With mountains, it is

crystal clear. Like, there is a summit, there is a top, there is a very clear success or failure, there is a very clear route. And truthfully, you don't have to do anything other than put one foot in front of another and like focus on your survival, like focus on like your health. And that's why like when I'm gone for eight weeks on these big mountains, like

This year I climbed Akum Kagwa, it's the biggest mountain outside the Himalayas. And truthfully, when I'm gone from my family for four weeks, like for that last trip, I think I have it easier than everybody else because like I've got an itinerary every day. My wife is the one that's like, gosh, is he okay? I hope everything's all right. Like, so for the fitness piece, the fitness piece you have to be into, right? Like I put so many hours into training.

I think that's why I don't want to run an Ironman is like, have no motivation to swim. I have no motivation to ride my bike. You have to like the training because you put so many hours into training. So if you want to climb, you better enjoy hiking. You better enjoy having like a heavy pack and you better like being outside. I think with big goals that are

easy, I don't want to say to wrap your head around, but it just seems so much easier. There's an end. There's like a, you know, when it's going to be over. This is temporary. Exactly. It's like, you know, that the pursuit is so this is the piece that's like sort of metaphorical and sort of philosophical is the goal is very clear. Like the summit is the goal. But what I discovered

in hindsight from having gone on multiple expeditions, like Everest is the biggest mountain that I've climbed, but it's not the only mountain, is I like myself better when I'm chasing something like that because it requires me to put everything else in the right compartments. You know what I'm saying? I feel like when I am climbing Mount Everest or Akum Kagwa,

when I know that I have to be at the gym at five in the morning, but I also have to like get my calls done. I also have to make sure that I'm at dinner. it's that old adage. Like if you have nothing to do, like idle time is the devil. Like what is phrases? It's just like when you're really busy, you manage to figure out how to do everything. But then when you have like one thing on your calendar, it never gets done. And you just like bump it and bump it and bump it and bump it. So like,

I feel. when I was training for Everest and it was so overwhelmingly busy, but I was also so overwhelmingly fulfilled. And so my cup was so full. And what I miss about not being signed up for a mountain right now, and the hope is 2026 after the next baby, it's probably the first time that I'm publicly declaring it, but I think I'm gonna go climb Denali in Alaska. It's the biggest mountain in the Americas.

Okay. is, so 2026, I hope to be like pursuing this goal. And, it's not the goal. It's not like the mountain. It's sort of everything that you have to be to get there. And I think that's the nice thing about big goals. Like it brings me closer to my wife. That's like a big piece of it is, don't think you have to climb big mountains to recognize mortality, but I would say that.

in high risk activities, it certainly makes you recognize that we're all human. I don't, it is what it is. Like I feel closer to my loved ones when I'm leaving before a trip because it's like, I love you guys. It wakes you up. Yeah, it wakes you up.

And then like, it just brings everything else to the surface that I think people neglect or they don't like recognize. And that's the piece that I'm trying to figure out now without having a big goal is I do feel good about myself going to the gym this morning. Like I am happy that I got out of bed. I just have a hard time telling myself that when I don't...

Like we're all still young. Like I don't have the aches and pains of being an old man. And like, I know my wife is saying you're doing this for like your health and vitality, but it's hard to tell yourself that when you're young and vibrant. Like, and I know I'm not 20, but I'm also not falling apart. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. So, I mean, I, I encourage anybody. I think it was, Jesse Seltzer. Is that his name? Jesse Siteser? Jesse? It's Ler. You're tight. It's Ler.

You guys heard him talk about this thing called the Masogi? Yes. I do remember. it on stage when we were there for Forward. Yeah. Will you guys correct me if I'm wrong? It's the idea of having something big that you do every year? Yes. Yep. So my understanding is every year all of us should have one, doesn't necessarily need to be a physical goal, but one goal that kind of shapes everything that year.

And I thought that was really beautiful because when you think about anything that you're chasing, like, or if I think about 2024, the most memorable thing of 2024 is probably climbing Akun Kagawa. And it wasn't because it was like Akun Kagawa, it was because everything that went like exactly.

so I just, I like that idea every year having something that kind of makes you find purpose in everything else you're showing up to. Of course. I Googled it while we were talking. Cause of course you did. I was like, know what you're saying. Yep. I love it. This is on Jessie Itzler's website right now. And it says, what exactly is a Masagi? I don't know if I'm saying that correctly. it says it's an ancient Japanese ritual around cleansing and purification.

And Jesse says he's taken the liberty to stretch the true meaning and it represents a unique and challenging event that defines your year that requires a journey of self discovery and transformation, pushing one's physical and mental limits to achieve a seemingly impossible goal. That thing gives you purpose and it cleanses your soul when completed. And he recommends once a year. I love that. Yeah. I just got chills.

You have your misogyny, Candice, for 2025 already. It's called a baby. Yeah, this is mine. No, that's a beautiful my my mother is Japanese American, Chris. So I love that you brought up that principle. There's so many Japanese principles that I think can teach us so much, especially in American culture, when we're so fast paced, we're so instant gratification oriented, we're so polarizing, can't even have a conversation. So thank you for bringing that up. And now I'm

I'm literally looking at, have a big calendar for the year, similar to Jessie Itzler's big ass calendar, except for I got it color coded because it needs to look pretty in order for me to pay attention to it. And now I'm thinking, what's going to be my misoki for 2025? Because I have a lot of other individual targets that I want to hit personally and professionally, there's no, I haven't yet identified a big Overarching. Yeah, overarching, like a through line.

Right. I think that's why physical ones and health ones people like is because they're so definable. Right. They're like easy. The route. They're not easy, but they're more clearly defined. Right. And that's why when you say in business, even in business, it's like, I want to sell a hundred houses. Well, like, would you want to sell a hundred hundred thousand dollar houses? Probably not. Like, I have this conversation all the time. Yeah. It's like, what is the goal?

It's not about the number of transactions, right? Like there has to be a reason that you feel like 100 houses and it's likely that you want to do something with your family or for your family or for yourself. Like you have this goal for your own life. And guess what? Selling 100 houses is probably not the only way to get to that goal. And so if you know what you really want your life to look like, maybe it's you want more space and time in your life. Well, selling 100 houses is not it, right? So let's...

really think about all of the possible ways that you can get what you want instead of, I think real estate agents jump to that, right? Well, more, more what? More work? More transactions? Why, more for what? Right. I mean, I'm really, so this will be year number six for me in the bit seven. This is year seven in the business.

And as we get close to the end of the year, it's like I'm evaluating everything, right? if I want to do, so the year is about to, we're getting close to the end and I think we're going to finish the year. Me and my mom, she's my, she's my teammate. We have like a small team of like admin around us. And I think we're going to make the year at about 55 million in volume. we can. Congratulations. Amazing. I appreciate it. It was a good year. We worked really hard, like really hard.

And I've missed some things that I don't want to continue missing, right? Like I don't want to miss every dinner. So now I'm really thinking about next year. All right. I can do the same thing. I know that we'll probably make just about the same amount of sales. How do I do better? But better doesn't mean more sales better, maybe might mean the same amount of sales in less time.

Maybe it means less sales, giving me more time. You know what I mean? So it's like, how do you just fucking iterate better? Because what's the point of it all? What's the point of it all? And that's really what I'm trying to figure out now is how do I make dinners every night or at least three nights a week? How do I still provide? How do I not feel like

I'm on this hamster wheel, you know? I hope this is for somebody, like, the only reason I share the production is I want people to identify, I want people to be able to identify. And the biggest issue is people thinking that, like, everyone has it figured out, that they're watching on the internet. And I wake up every morning thinking, like, okay, what should I do next? And that is not a place to start your day.

It's truth. Like, and I don't think, I don't know, I'm trying to like give myself grace and give myself, you know, I'm trying to give myself grace. Like I don't think we all have it figured out. I'm trying to get better. I'm just, I'm trying to get off the hamster wheel. I appreciate you being authentic because I think Candice and I are at our points in our careers. And it sounds like you are too Chris, where people will just look us up online or see our social content.

See us on stages and then think that it was like that overnight and that we also have it all figured out right now because we're at this point and. We did not start here. We still have much to learn far to go. There's so many different ways to go and it's just all. Figuring out the next best step while keeping an eye on that larger rate, you know, cool.

I struggled, Candice, in transparency at the BAM speech a lot because I've been grappling with a lot of these ideas, a lot of these emotions. And it's not easy to go up there and share, you know.

how you feel or share with people what they should be doing to sort of elevate themselves when you are sort of having a hard time taking your own advice. I had a feeling we were going to get into some of this stuff. And I was like, this is therapeutic for you, Chris. This is gonna be helpful. We got you. Yeah. But I think part of why we have Not Nice Clever is because we do want to share that.

we don't have it all figured out. And every single human that you look up to and admire doesn't have it all figured out. And I think for me, my light bulb moment of that is working with Ryan and Ryan has amazing, incredible things going on all the time and so many opportunities. And we will still hop on a call and he will still say like, what should we do about this? Like what's the next right step for us?

I tried this and this. Like, what do you guys think? Like, you're asking me? You're asking me? and, and, but of course every leader is asking for support, finding the right next person to take them to the next level, right? To, help them along the journey. They are looking back to mentors and coaches and their employees and they're looking to hire the perfect person to help them get to the next place. Duh.

But why did it take me having to like work with Ryan and to like have that light bulb moment and understand, hey, at every single level, people need people and they don't have a clear path. It's not like they open a book and like, here's the instructions for your day. It's like, you know, everyone's just figuring it the fuck out. A hundred percent. That's it. Yeah. And I think, gosh, you said like a couple of like,

No one, and I've been telling myself this, no one is going to come fucking save you. Like nobody is coming to get you out of whatever it is to get you to the next step. So I'm not going to name their names because I don't want to disparage their email newsletter. one of the, it's not even disparaging actually, it just shows that they're humans. But one of the, I would say top 20 biggest teams in America,

is in LA, right? Like selling billions of dollars, luxury celebrity type shit. And I had like a surhand. It's not surhand that I'm referring to. We know we're not in LA. Yeah, we're not in LA yet. I get their, I get their, I get their weekly blogs, right? I was going through the blog or I was going through their newsletter that they sent and I was just like, these people's clients are these celebrities, these billionaires.

And look at this email. This shit was made on chat GBT. This fucking graphic was probably made with somebody on Fiverr. This market update from Altos Research they paid for and the little like. This is identical to the same email that the person selling $250,000 houses in Bakersfield is sharing, you know, like one of those moments I was like, they're doing exactly the same thing like.

exactly the same thing. And then when I thought to myself, nobody is going to bring you into the market that you want to bring into Chris, like, nobody's going to call you and say, come list this $10 million house, like, nobody's going to call you and say, come like, get on this stage, right? Like, if we are not actively doing things, even if they're little things to get us closer to whatever it is we are trying to achieve.

Why are we surprised when it doesn't happen? know? Why are we surprised it doesn't happen? Maybe little things will get sprinkled in your life as an opportunity, but you know, like even my speaking opportunities, like I'm so blessed that I get asked a couple times every year, but I bet you that if I were to put my hand out there and say, guys, I want to do this more, I bet you I would speak more.

You know, I think there's like a big piece of like us expecting or it's not expecting. It's like hope. We hope the universe is going to do something for us. And it's not. I think that's also tied to a mindset of maybe not feeling good enough or not feeling worthy. So you don't want to ask for the opportunity because maybe you don't feel like you've earned it in some way or there's another person.

in LA or Orange County who's doing more than 55 million. So why should you be the person speaking on that stage? Right? That's what I hear from my clients. I'm sure Kat hears kind of similar things like, who am I to do this thing? Who am I to ask for space at that event? who are it? Because all these motherfuckers are doing the same shit. And like the haters are

The haters are going to hate anyways. think about that stuff. The haters hate themselves. So like, that's not going to change. They just need to like pick a new target to project onto. So like, let them do them. And then we're going to shit on whatever we were doing, even if we didn't do it. Like they're hating on us with whatever we're actively doing. They're hating on us with whatever we would be doing. What we should have been doing. Like, yeah, they're going to, they're going to mother fuck us one way or another. And I think like, this is, I don't want to name, of course I'm not going to name names, but like I've had

a couple of these epiphany moments where I've been scrolling or seeing people. even say, you know what? He's on TV. So I feel, I feel safe. Ben Black. I see Ben Black pushing his course. Yeah. I see Black doing all these things. get his emails. Yeah. I get his emails. I see all this shit and respectfully. I don't think Ben Black is like anything that I can't be. No, he's in my inbox and you're not Chris.

And like that's the thing, right? But you could absolutely be in everyone's inbox. And it's just like, that's what I try to teach my clients. And I'm also telling myself right now because I'm not on my email game like I should be at the moment. And I know when I am, things are better. So, know, no shame there. But it is something that I think about because now we're like, well, Ben Balak is everywhere because I saw him on TV. I saw him at that event.

His name's in my inbox. So that must mean something about the quality of his service that may be different than Chris. And you know what? None of that is true. all perception, right? Like you could be at the same level or even better than him, but you're just not putting yourself out there in the way that attracts the attention. And that's what branding and marketing is about, right? And that's why Kat and I love talking about this, but that...

is I hope something that fires you up enough to take the action that you know you could take so that more people are exposed to you. And like so many of the incredible things that you said today, Chris, like I just I feel your values coming through in everything that you talk about. And like you're so genuine and you're so authentic. Like I want more people to see you. So if I can help, let me know. I'm not like I'm not saying hire me. I'm just saying like I'm here as a friend.

As like a cheerleader. I appreciate it. Absolutely. Well, we're all rising. We're all like lifting each other together. And I think that's everything we say yes to is obviously saying no to something else. But I think it is not bad, especially as agents feel like there's only certain things that they should be doing that are like money making activities, like be on the phone, be on the phone, be on the phone. We have to be recognizing that like the relationships is where it's at. So

when the small business asks you to do the podcast and you're just like, what does that mean? Like, no, it means that there's two people that like you can make an impression on that like care about you. You know what I mean? Or when you're, I don't know, like at the Starbucks and you pay it forward, right? It's like all of those are opportunities. And I think it's just us getting out of our own ways to know that, you know, these opportunities are everywhere. That's it. That's it.

That's the secret, guys. That's the secret you've been waiting for.

think we are coming to our not nice advice segment. this is good. This question, they're not asking you to solve the mystery of life. So no pressure here. It's gonna be a question on content actually. So this was written in by a listener from our clever crew. So they said, earlier this year, I set a goal for myself to create video content on social media, but I've been stuck in idea mode for months now.

I'll spend hours brainstorming, tweaking, planning, but I never feel ready or motivated when I sit down to hit record. How can I push past these mental blocks I'm having? Great question.

Miss listener, whatever. Nobody gives a fuck about you as much as you think they do. They are going to watch the content that you've so like tirelessly worked on when they're pooping in the morning, when they are getting into their car, when they are in between appointments.

They are going to give you a micro fraction of attention. So don't worry about what people think because they're so busy in their own lives. They're not thinking anything of you. Like they're not thinking anything of you. What you hope for is that when they need something that you've popped up into the feed or popped up enough that you are top of mind.

when they need to make like the ask, right? But 99 % of the time, we are an idea that they are going to scroll by and not give you even two seconds of their like bandwidth. So good. So good and so true. Sorry, guys. Sorry, I'm not sorry. They don't give a shit about it. Okay, so is there anything else you want to talk about?

before we close out because we do have a hard stop in four minutes. But is there anything you want to mention that we didn't touch on today? Like, I don't know, do you want to plug anything? there, you know, how do people connect with you maybe? And we'll definitely drop in the show notes. Oh, you're so sweet. So you can find me at Chris Benjamin everywhere. By the time this episode drops, I'm starting a school community to hopefully like inspire more agents. So if you look me up,

and you want to join us on school by January, we'll be up and running. Amazing. Thank you so much. Chris, we appreciate your time. Thank you guys for having me. Thank you.

Thanks for joining us on Not Nice, Clever. Remember to follow Not Nice, Clever wherever you listen to audio. And if you haven't already, drop that five star review. Share your takeaways. Tell us your story. We love to hear it. Signing off, you're not so nice, but so clever besties that mean business. See you soon.