From Self-Doubt to Self-Made: Creating Your Future with Jenn Cody

Ever feel like you're waiting for permission to step into your power? Not anymore, friend. In this episode, Kat and Candace sit down with the unstoppable Jenn Cody—author, podcast host, and life coach for fierce female entrepreneurs—who’s here to remind you that you hold the pen to your own story.

Jenn gets real about the wake-up call that changed everything: an unexpected divorce that forced her to stop looking outward for validation and start owning her worth. We’re talking mindset shifts, and the magic that happens when you stop playing small. Plus, Jenn spills all about her transformational retreats and the advice every mom needs to hear when she’s feeling lost in the shuffle of life.

If you’re ready to ditch self-doubt and start creating a future that excites you, hit play now. This one’s for every woman who’s ever wondered, What if I just went for it?

Show Notes:

• Connect with Jenn Cody on Instagram
• Visit Jenn's website and learn about her upcoming retreats
• Check out Jenn's podcast: Create Your Day

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• Candice Carcioppolo
• Kat Torre

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Transcript

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We spend too much time trying to avoid. negativity instead of looking at it and seeing what are the actions I have to take around that.  I didn't realize that I actually was constantly and consistently looking for that validation and receiving it through my marriage, through my relationship with being a parent, through my relationship with being a daughter.

Like, I was always looking for other people's approval. It's not until we say something out loud that we can even begin to find out that we're not alone. Because how does anyone know what's happening with us if we're not sharing it? And I can remember  When I first started sharing my story, really holding back a lot of the details because I felt it said something about me  and it didn't say anything about me.

All it said was that I had an experience that I had to figure out how to move through. People are looking for the magic tip or the tactic or the framework to solve everything instead of being honest about like what are the habits or the things that they're doing in the day to day that are creating friction.

When we're afraid to look at something, it's like there's this giant monster standing behind us, but if we just turn around and look at it, chances are that it was the shadow of the monster that was so big, right? It's really something that's this tiny. It's not possible to move forward if we ignore everything that's standing in our way. 

We wait to feel like we deserved something.  That is a tragedy just in itself. Or we always say permission granted because someone is waiting for someone to give them permission. We'll give you permission. Fine. Permission granted. Here it is. That's how bullshit permission is. A lot of times people are also, you know, no regrets, no regrets.

Well, I have regrets. There's a lot of things that I would do differently if I could. I would love to meet someone who literally has nothing that they would go back and change in their whole life. That's amazing. 

We spend too much time trying to avoid. negativity instead of looking at it and seeing what are the actions I have to take around that.  I didn't realize that I actually was constantly and consistently looking for that validation and receiving it through my marriage, through my relationship with being a parent, through my relationship with being a daughter.

Like, I was always looking for other people's approval. It's not until we say something out loud that we can even begin to find out that we're not alone. Because how does anyone know what's happening with us if we're not sharing it? And I can remember  When I first started sharing my story, really holding back a lot of the details because I felt it said something about me  and it didn't say anything about me.

All it said was that I had an experience that I had to figure out how to move through. People are looking for the magic tip or the tactic or the framework to solve everything instead of being honest about like what are the habits or the things that they're doing in the day to day that are creating friction.

When we're afraid to look at something, it's like there's this giant monster standing behind us, but if we just turn around and look at it, chances are that it was the shadow of the monster that was so big, right? It's really something that's this tiny. It's not possible to move forward if we ignore everything that's standing in our way. 

We wait to feel like we deserved something.  That is a tragedy just in itself. Or we always say permission granted because someone is waiting for someone to give them permission. We'll give you permission. Fine. Permission granted. Here it is. That's how bullshit permission is. A lot of times people are also, you know, no regrets, no regrets.

Well, I have regrets. There's a lot of things that I would do differently if I could. I would love to meet someone who literally has nothing that they would go back and change in their whole life. That's amazing. We are so excited to have Jen Cody on with us today. She is a author podcast host and a life coach, and she works a lot with female entrepreneurs. And we know our clever crew has a bunch of female entrepreneurs in here. And we thought Jen Cody would be the perfect person to talk to you today. Um, and so we're just going to dive in with her.

Can you talk to us Jen about what makes you so passionate about specifically helping women to create a life that they love and like pursue their goals?  Absolutely. First, thank you so much for having me. I am thrilled to be here with you guys. Um, I love talking about anything that helps women move forward in their life.

Um, I think what makes me most passionate is probably my own history in living a life for a very long time where I did not  truly see my value and was Almost led to believe that my value came externally. So I'm very, very passionate about women being able to take ownership. of their value, take ownership of their future and really  kind of create their future in whatever way serves them best without them having to rely on other people's permission, other people's opinions.

It's it's almost like an epidemic, I think, with women where we are constantly looking for validation from external sources. So I absolutely  am super passionate about empowering women to find it inside themselves.  I think Kat and I can relate to that both in our own ways with our own, our own history. Is there a specific  catalyst, an event, something that kind of triggered,  turned the button on that kind of switch, switch the flip?

You know what I'm trying to say? I'm nine months pregnant. Y'all flipped the switch for you. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I have been. A business owner for years. I've owned my own business for almost 30 years now. And I always felt that I saw myself through a lens of being  all about empowerment, all about, um, really kind of forging a path for other women.

And. I didn't realize that I actually was constantly and consistently looking for that validation and receiving it through my marriage, through my relationship with being a parent, through my relationship with being a daughter, like, I was always looking for other people's approval very, very subconsciously.

It was not, I would never have described myself that way. And it was not until I was married for 21 years and found myself in the middle of a very unexpected divorce. And I realized through that process. Where I literally saw my life and my business being taken from me brick by brick, right? Like everything, the rug being pulled out from under me is  really putting it mildly.

So when that happened, I all of a sudden realized, wait a minute.  I'm so uncomfortable with the emotions I'm feeling right now with the discomfort and um, vulnerability and really seeing myself as someone who  didn't realize any of my value  when I was standing alone, when I didn't have my business, when I didn't have my marriage, when I saw my children looking to me for direction and I was so unsteady, right?

The ground I was standing on felt so un, un, Safe, unsteady,  and I realized I did not recognize myself and I, all of a sudden,  I can remember the exact moment, curled up in a ball on my kitchen floor, in the fetal position, something I never in a million years would have thought possible. I would find myself in that situation  and just realizing, Oh, I need to make a choice.

I need to make a decision right now today. At the time, my daughter was 15. My son was 16 or 17 and I realized they were looking at me. They were looking at me to see what my next move was going to be. And I really wanted to show them that.  It comes from inside of us and I had to dig very, very deep to find that  passion and power and voice that I had not realized until that moment I was looking for externally.

So that moment on my kitchen floor was the moment I said, I will never feel this way again. And I need to start today to figure out how do I move forward and really step into the person that I know is in there  and rely on myself to find her.  Thank you so much for sharing that.  Um, my,  my bestie and I,  yeah, my bestie and I say crying on the floor of your closet.

That's like the, that's like the moment that I think universally all women have had, whether you know, it's the closet or the kitchen or something, fetal position, crying on the floor, like that is. The beginning of something. Yes, exactly. Like the birthplace of the power, right? It has to come from somewhere and that's where it came from for me. 

Yeah. I really appreciate you sharing that Jen. Cause I feel like Candace was saying, like, it's,  we know, I know that like so many people have these rock bottom moments, but there's always just this like stigma of shame or guilt in sharing it publicly. And I. October 10th, 2018 was my rock bottom moment.

Like when you were describing how you were on the kitchen floor, it was like, I was called back to, to that moment in time for me. And so I, and I've only just recently started like publicly and regularly sharing about all the details of it. So I, I applaud you for doing that. And I really, really appreciate and admire it.

Um,  and. I'm curious, like,  if you could share a piece of advice, like, that would have made it, not easier, but maybe just to make you feel like you weren't alone, or to give you, like, guidance in the next step, like, if there's somebody listening going through that, or trying to figure it out, like, what would that,  what would that piece of advice be? 

I think, honestly,  What you just said, and we're not far off because my date is October 1st, 2017. No way. So we're very much in sync. Other That's why you, your face. Yeah. Oh my goodness.  Wow. Um, but I think exactly what you just said, which is that you just started speaking publicly about it, and I know that my healing really started happening. 

on a podcast speaking publicly in that way, but speaking, allowing myself to share it with someone and say it out loud  really contributed to the healing process. Because I think we don't realize, and it goes for so many things, right? It's not just these rock bottom moments.  It's not until we say something out loud that we can even begin to find out that we're not alone.

Because how does anyone know what's happening with us if we're not sharing it? We can look in other places, we could read all the books, we could listen to all the podcasts and hear that someone else may have gone through something. And obviously we see ourselves in those things. But when we actually allow ourselves to be vulnerable, that's when we can connect with someone on it.

So I think my piece of advice would be  to allow that vulnerability to come through so that you can really Connect with what's happening to you. I shouldn't say that what's happening around you  is Not alienating you There are other people who, they don't have to have gone through the same thing, necessarily, for you to feel like you're not alone.

There, some of the people that have made me feel the most supported and the most loved have never gone through what I've gone through. But I still feel so seen and held by them. So, that would never happen if I was not open and vulnerable. So that would absolutely be my first piece of advice. Let go of the,  hold back to allow yourself. 

I have a question here that I'm like, I don't know if it's the right place to go. Um, so go there. Let's, let's see.  Okay. Um,  so you mentioned that  you're going through this divorce and let's say it's ugly, right? And you already had your business running at the time and you felt like your business was kind of being stripped away from you. 

Um, I'm sure you're thinking about, How you're going to support your kids and your livelihood and your, your family and all these things at that time. Um, as an entrepreneur who is,  Now single  how were you able to  I'm assuming your business continued or that you transformed it in some way Can you maybe talk to us about that?

Like how were you able to continue? Yeah, absolutely So I actually started in the beauty business. I owned my own salon and spa for 20 years and It was at this moment. So my brick and mortar business, um, had already my role in the business had already transformed greatly into mentorship and coaching. So I was not behind the chair as often as I had been in the past.

I was really working on coaching the team that worked for me and teams and other businesses to find their next step and see what they wanted to have for their own futures. So I was already in that. space, but I was doing it in my business, in my building. And that business was started through the financial assistance that I received from my ex husband.

So as part of the divorce, he wanted his  investment back and the only way for me to do that was to actually close that building and figure out where I was going to go.  Um, and I did start just sort of  freelancing in the beauty business, doing coaching and, um, helping people  future plan and build their own businesses.

And it would, I, so that was 2017, 2018, I would say by 2021, I had. Allowed that to kind of organically evolve into helping entrepreneurs in any industries, but it did start in the beauty business and just eventually more and more people would kind of refer me out to different industries and it grew very organically from there.

It feels like it took another 30 years, but it really was only a few.  Entrepreneurship time. I feel like it's like one year in entrepreneurship time is like a decade in like regular people time. Exactly. Absolutely. And 2020, 2021, that's definitely the era of the pivot, right? Where you're thinking about the skills you already have and how to capitalize on them and maybe in a different, in a different way. 

Yeah, for sure.  And I'd love that you started in a different industry and have expanded beyond that, you know, um, Candace has a past life prior to becoming a coach, design studio owner and podcaster. I do as well. I was. Nursing student once upon a time and so I just love that, um, you know, permission to start over and reinvent whether or not you hit a rock bottom, like, don't, I mean, Hit the rock bottom if you need to, but like,  spare yourself if you don't have to and just pivot right now.

Absolutely. Absolutely. That's something I feel so strongly about. And it's a lot of the programs that I create now are actually based on that exact thing. Like I see what I had to go through and I want to save people from that. I want people to be able to reinvent and pivot and really imagine beyond anything they could have dreamed without having to go through that intense pain first.

Like we've, I think as a society really become. Almost, it's ingrained in us that you need to go through that. It's like a rite of passage. In order for you to really know who you are, and really find the future that's waiting for you, you're going to have to go through something tragic. And that does happen.

But why does it have to happen? Why can't we just reap the rewards of hard work without having to go through the pain of tragedy first?  Amen. Like, there's no glory in suffering. Suffering does pay off and pay dividends, but like, honestly, just save yourself if you don't have to go through it. Right, right.

It's so interesting because I think that women specifically love to, I don't want to say love to, but they  often  want to feel like they deserved something. And so because you want to feel like you deserve something, you almost create  something that you've been through so that then you can be like, here's the story.

Here's why I deserved it. Instead of just being inherently worthy because you were born. Right. And. That's something that Kat and I talk about a lot and earlier you also said, um, you know, not having to wait for people's permission and kind of jokingly on Not Nice Clever, we always say permission granted because someone is waiting for someone to give them permission.

We'll give you permission. Fine. Permission granted. Here it is. You know, like that, that's how bullshit permission is, is that. I've given it to you now, feel free to do it one through the, through the, the airwaves through the computer screen guys.  Yeah, and women, we, we really do look for that permission and feel, I love what you just said that.

We wait to feel like we deserved something.  That is a tragedy just in itself. Right. And I can remember when I first started sharing my story, really holding back a lot of the details because I felt it said something about me.  That my marriage was not  going forward, you know, I felt like such a failure and it didn't say anything about me.

All it said was that I had an experience that I had to figure out how to move through. And that's something that I want to save women from also. Like, why do we have to wait until someone signs the permission slip or wait until someone tells us we deserve something in our worth? Something. We need to be able to just wake up feeling that way. 

One of my favorite mantras, it's from one of my coaches, is, um, your worth is a fact, not a feeling.  Love it. So, like, you're a redhead, you've got, you know, I think blue eyes, like, you're wearing a green sweater, you're worthy. It's a fact. However tall you are, you know, it's like unequivocal. Oh, I love that.

That's really great. Yep.  So, we know, Candice and I know, and I'm sure you do too, Jen, that a lot of change, whether or not it's at the rock bottom moments, really starts from within. I love that you said that. And the importance of mindset. I remember thinking, 10 years ago, 15 years ago. I'm like, mindset, like I, I did not think that it was as powerful and foundational as it is.

So I'd love for you to share, you know, specifically how you approach and look at mindset. And if there's any, if there's a framework or a set of questions like that you use when you're working with clients in your programs that you've found to be really helpful.  Yes, absolutely. So I think that  mindset. 

Like you said, people do  shy away from that concept sometimes, right, and we, we hear so, so often about mindset and manifesting and it's become almost like a taboo subject because people feel, and rightfully so, I do think there Is a population out there that has kind of hijacked it to take away from the work that's required to create change.

So when I am speaking about mindset, I want people to really think about the questions to ask themselves that are going to result in the right answers. Instead of just approaching mindset as something where you sit. In the morning and just wish things are going to get better and meditate for 30 minutes and Think about all of the things that you want to bring into your life and that puts you in the right mindset That's great, but nothing's going to happen unless that actually leads us somewhere so I do have some questions that I use with people when I work with them and one of the questions that I find most powerful is  what are, what's the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning or what is the first thing that you think when you wake up in the morning?

And I just saw, I wish I wrote it down. I just saw on Instagram. Yesterday or the day before, um, a quote that said to be a thermostat and not a thermometer. I don't know if you guys have ever heard that before. I had never heard it before. I had never heard it before. It just popped up for me too. And I was like, Oh, that's so good.

So it was so good. And that one sounded really good. Anything else. I feel like it really applies to that question about where does your mind go when you first wake up in the morning? Because if you're a thermometer, your mind goes to looking at your email, looking at social media. Where's my day going to take me?

That's being a thermometer. It's looking to see what's the temperature of the day.  Where if you approach your day with a more intentional mindset, that is being a thermostat. You're setting the temperature of the day. You're not waiting for the day to lead you, you are leading the day. So that's something that I think is so powerful when it comes to mindset.

We all wake up every day, hopefully, knock on wood, and we're able to Make a choice. Am I going to allow this day to run me or am I going to run my day? And that's a mindset shift. That's all that is, is a mindset shift. And it doesn't have to be  grounded in any deep practices. It doesn't have to be grounded in something that's overwhelming.

It really is just about making the choice to take control of our own life of our own time. So the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning, to me, that's one of the greatest things to focus on if you're trying to change your mindset. Um, something else that I've shared with people is to really focus on.

What the blockages are that you're facing.  I think a lot of times people know what they want. They know what they're trying to bring into their life and they're very focused on doing things. They're focused on all of the action they need to take in order to move forward.  Without spending too much time focusing on what might be standing in their way.

And I think that is another casualty of kind of how society has hijacked mindset and manifestation. We're so conditioned to not want to look at anything. That might be a negative. So. That's not, it's not possible to move forward if we ignore everything that's standing in our way.  And yes, some of those things might be negative, but we have to look at them.

We have to face things head on. It's one of the things that I love to tell people is when we're afraid to look at something, it's like there's this giant monster standing behind us. But if we just turn around and look at it, chances are that it was the shadow of the monster that was so big, right? It's really something that's It's this tiny and we're able to handle it much better, but we spend too much time trying to avoid negativity instead of looking at it and seeing what are the actions I have to take around that instead of taking action to just be on this hamster wheel to move me forward.

Does that make sense? It does. Yeah. And it's like. We see this, Candace and I do all the time, like people are looking for the magic tip or the tactic or the framework to solve everything instead of being honest about like, what are the habits or the things that they're doing in the day to day that are creating friction, creating conflict, creating tension, just removing that. 

you up and get you more into motion and closer toward what you want. You don't need this like magic template, you know, like that can come later. Once you have all the. The friction removed.  Absolutely. Yeah. 

I  feel a little bit like I go against the grain when it comes to some things because  a lot of times people are also, you know, no regrets, no regrets. Well, I have regrets. There's a lot of things that I would do differently if I could. I don't  necessarily think that, um,  I was wrong in the moment. I did the best I could at that time, but there are things I, I would love to meet someone who literally has nothing that they would go back and change in their whole life.

That's amazing because I don't think that really exists. And yes, we learn from things we learn from our past. We there's lessons to be learned in all of those hard moments,  but there are absolutely things that I would go back and do differently. And I, Encourage people to spend some time thinking about that because that's how we stop history from repeating itself.

So this one is  We did some stalking basically, let's be honest. We always stalk our, our Yeah, our people, our clever crew, our guests. We stalk you online and You had this one reel that stuck out to me where you talked about whether you're a verb or a noun. Yes. And I was like, oh, we have to ask this on the podcast.

I won't get, like, so our, our listeners probably haven't seen it. Um, so maybe you can give them a little bit more context about this and then kind of explain your concept about that.  Yes, sure. So,  when I created that reel, which was a while ago, you really did do some stalking.  Um, Yes, so I think that probably stemmed from  stillness, because once again, I find that people  misconstrue the way concepts should be applied in our life.

And I believe in stillness, I absolutely do. And I think we need to have quiet moments,  but not  stagnant moments. So the difference between being a noun and being a verb is that In those still moments,  we still should be having some sort of action, and that action can be reflecting, thinking, um, planning, all of the things that we need those quiet moments for.

Nouns are  final, right? They're stagnant. There's no motion going on at all. Verbs, they don't have to be frenetic. They can still be fluid. They can be smooth, but they're constantly in motion. They're not allowing any grass to grow under their feet, so to speak. And you know, a lot of times I do talk about we're human beings, right?

Not human doings. So we shouldn't be on the hamster wheel either where we're just frantic energy,  but we do need time to just be. And we have to recognize that that time that we're just being. is still active  participation in our lives. It's not ignoring anything. It's not putting our head in the sand.

That's being a noun. That's stopping.  So that's kind of where my I love that. Yeah.  The copywriter in me loves that.  It's a great way of visualizing it for yourself because I think it can be really easy to think that if you are  being still, you're being stagnant. And so I love the, the  definition that you created there. 

I also think it like, it creates some sort of accountability too, like that the trap of like manifesting or mindset can be like, if you just, you know, try it or just meditate or try to, you know, do something that it'll all happen. And it's like, no, you have to. Even if it's a small step a small thing like it's right.

It's still on you to Allow it to happen to make it happen to take those those actions So I really like that  and it is the small steps Those are the things that actually energize us right like it's when you go to the gym It's so hard to start a new workout routine. But as soon as you feel Yeah, right.

It's like so common. Yeah at this time of year, especially and  It's hard, but once you feel a little bit, like your clothes are fitting a little bit better or your energy is up a little bit, it, it's motivating to continue going. So all of the little actions that we take around what we're trying to bring into our lives are the same exact thing.

That's what motivates us. That's what brings us to the next day. That's what makes us look forward to those hard steps is taking the little actions to get closer.  So  one thing that I. And Candice, you know, really admire that you do is hosting retreats where you're talking about stillness. You're talking about, but still taking action.

And also the thing that I love about retreats is the sense of community and the intimacy that you can gain from it. So tell us about, you know, the follow your bliss retreat that you hosted and, and maybe even a moment. If you feel comfortable sharing it, like a transformative moment or something that you witness that you just feel is so,  so special, that somebody who maybe is considering doing a retreat or they've seen others do it, you know, what's the, what's the most magical thing that you have seen there? 

So my retreats also happened very, very organically as a result of my transformation in 2017. So I found myself. Like I said, really trying to be intentional about where I was going to take my life. And right before I had to close the doors of my salon, I decided to host a workshop at the salon and invite some women there to just plan out our next year.

So, I want to say maybe like five people came, it was not a large group, and we had a great night, we sat, we talked, we connected, and a few months later, we started talking about maybe we should do this on a more regular basis. And I did that monthly for about a year. And then said, Maybe we should do this for a whole weekend.

So that first group that came to my salon back in 2018, it was January of 2018, um,  we went and rented a house in the Catskill mountains in New York, and we spent the weekend together and I. Totally winged it. I had never done anything like that before in my life. I was trying to figure out how to do all the things, like how to make it as value packed.

So, because for me, at the time, I was also in like financial devastation. I couldn't imagine asking anyone to pay to go away for the weekend. Like I had to make it a no brainer. So I wanted it to include everything. We had someone cooking all the meals and people coming to teach workshops and yoga and all this stuff. 

And it just was amazing. And there is something truly magical about women sharing space with each other that is safe. There's just nothing like it. And. I watched  everyone that came that first year, tell someone else about it. And then the next year we had double the people there. And the next year we had double the people there.

And then I had to add a second weekend and then I added a third weekend and it's been just growing really beautifully. And the community.  is so connected. Like I, we have, um, a Facebook group and we have, um, WhatsApp texts and I love seeing them interact with each other without me, right? Like they're just, they have their own relationships now and they share each other's businesses and.

Who goes to this one to get their eyeglasses and who goes to this one to take their yoga class and who isn't, you know, going to this one's birthday party. And it's just amazing to watch the growth that happens when people again, allow themselves to be really seen and be really vulnerable. And I'm truly, truly honored to be able to provide a space for people to do that. 

I have never had anyone, thank goodness, come to any of my retreats and not want to come back the next year. It's just something people look forward to.  All year long. I actually had a text yesterday from one of my regulars who's been coming since the very beginning. She was like, my husband won a football pool and gave me some money.

I want to pay off my retreat right now. You know, like she's like, he said I could buy a new bag, but I really need my retreat. I don't need a new bag.  So just being able to provide that, that women, we crave it. We really need it. And no matter how many friends we have. We just don't have that on a regular basis, that type of quiet, safe space to really show who we are  and the topics range from business to family, to parenting, to finding ourselves.

And now at my age, you know, there are people who are talking about their retirement plans. And then we have. Um, young, I'm not young kids, but young, much younger than I am. So women in their twenties who are coming, who are just figuring out what they want to do with their lives, you know, so, and to see that  kind of fluid relationship happening between a 25 year old girl and a 65 year old woman.

Sharing a glass of wine by the fireplace, talking about where their lives are going, to me, is incredible. Just, just not something we get the ability to see on a regular basis.  So where can I sign up? I know, I was just thinking, I was like, ah, sounds perfect. Literally. It's so amazing, honestly, and we, we do like, um,  the time that we're there is so,  you're able to do with it what you want, right?

So I always tell people, cause every year, I always have at least one new person that reaches out to me and says, I'm a little nervous. Because I don't want to sit around singing kumbaya and I don't want to have to do this and I don't want to have to tell my story and I always tell everyone I have people who come there  that I know everything about them.

I know their children, what their children want to do with their lives. I know every problem they've ever had. And then I have people who come because they want to look at the Catskill Mountains and drink wine and not do anything else. And I have people that I know nothing about. They come, they listen, they participate, but they don't share.

I don't force anybody to do anything. Like everybody creates their own experience. It's very personal. So it's good. You guys could come.  Introvert friendly is what I mean. Yes, exactly. Exactly that.  And I'm sure every year too, it changes, right? Like people will  feel more comfortable to open up. Maybe. In the next year, or maybe they choose a different experience every time.

And that's also great. Everyone gets what they need. And it really helps to show women what we, to circle back to at the very beginning, right? That we have value and we have worth.  I think one of the lessons that gets learned in this kind of environment is they have value that they didn't even know. 

People come to a retreat and look at the person leading the retreat, right, and leading the session and leading the yoga class or leading the hike to guide them. They don't necessarily think about what's going to happen after dinner when everybody's sitting around having some wine together that they have something to contribute to the conversation that you're going to hear.

Oh, I have an issue with my boss. I have an issue with my husband. And you have something to contribute. You know, you're the one connecting on a deeper level. So it really is an incredible opportunity.  Why do you think women,  they see these retreats and they think they want to go, but they don't pull the trigger?

What do you think holds women back?  Permission.  I think it's time away from their families. It's guilt. It's shame.  It's, you know, um, I need to be back Sunday morning for my seven year old soccer game.  Yep. It's, it's really You've been to every soccer game all season. Missing one for your own well being is Exactly.

It's necessary. It's necessary. And I think once people take that step,  they do realize how necessary it is. And I'm so proud that the people that have come, that really struggled to take that time for themselves. I see. that they're now able to do it even throughout the year. Like I see they're going to yoga classes, they're going, and I feel like I'm talking a lot about yoga and I, I'm not a yoga person.

Me either. I'm not promoting the yoga part.  Just whatever wellness works for you. Right, exactly. But I see them taking time for themselves throughout the year and I'm proud to know that I have a part in helping them to.  Take hold of that piece of themselves and really embrace it.  We love that. So Clever Crew, look out for the next retreat.

We will drop all of Jen's links in the show notes so you can be sure to see when that is. Um, we also know that you have your own podcast called Create Your Day.  Can you talk to us a little bit about what you talk about on the podcast?  Yes, absolutely. So create your day. Um,  so create your day is really, really special to me.

I'm going to get a little personal and emotional for a moment.  So my best friend  passed away in 2020 from brain cancer.  And she has a 13 at the time he was 12 years old now he's 17, um, he was 12 years old when she was really in the last stages of her life and she and I got together and I was creating videos with her for her to make for her son for when she was not here. 

And we were talking about, like, all the big moments that he was going to experience and what, what's the advice that she would give him since she would not be here to do it. And we were sitting after weeks and weeks of doing this.  And she said to me, you know, I just want him to be able to create his day.

If you can create your day, you can create your life. If you're intentional about what your day looks like, you are intentional about what your entire life looks like.  And.  That was it. I wanted to carry on her legacy. And so that is what my podcast is born out of and what I speak about on there is really trying to help women be intentional about who they are.

Realize that they have permission to do the things that they want to do. If they are struggling, With something that it is not a fault, it's not something broken within them. There are things, there are resources, there are support there. We are not alone. And that's really the goal of the podcast itself is to help women know that, um, no matter what you're going through, like we said earlier, there are other people out there that don't have to have necessarily gone through it.

But they're there to support you. They're there to hold you through it. And sometimes that's all we need for support. We don't need someone that necessarily gets it. We need someone that is willing to hear us and is willing to help us, whether it's just by listening or it's by offering some sort of advice. 

But I think that, um, creating your day is something that you can't do until you really get to know yourself. Right? We can't. Otherwise, we are on that hamster wheel. So all roads to me lead to self reflection, knowing your worth, and giving yourself permission to step into whatever it is that you're trying to create. 

Thank you for sharing that. That's really A beautiful way to honor your friend  and I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you  I feel like that's a great like stopping point like not stopping point But like before we do not nice or not nice advice, you know, that's just like yeah, that was incredible Thank you.

Jen for sharing that my pleasure. Thank you So, Kat, why don't you do, I'm like so out of breath today.  You're doing a heavy pregnancy breathing? Oh gosh, yeah. That's why I keep putting myself on mute, um, but  why don't you do not nice advice?  So Jen, um, before we adjourn for today, we have somebody who wrote in for not nice advice.

This is one of our newer, um, more favorite segments, really, you know, seeking to build greater community, deeper community with our Clevver crew. So the amazing woman who wrote in today. She says, she's asking, I'm a mom of two amazing teenagers, but somewhere along the way, I feel like I've lost myself.  My days revolve around work, school pickups, and keeping the house running, and by the time I sit down, I'm too exhausted to even think about what I want. 

I used to have big dreams, hobbies, a social life, but now it feels like I'm just existing to survive. How do I reconnect with who I am beyond mom? Signed searching for me.  Yeah, that's a  That's a tough and common conundrum  Yeah, I think that  connecting with ourselves is a really really personal process and for someone that has teenagers it can be even more difficult because In my experience,  our children  can sometimes reflect both the parts of us that we love and the parts of us that we don't love so much, right?

We can see ourselves in both ways. So it can be difficult to connect with yourself when you have children at that age because sometimes you're, you're kind of being mirrored back some of the parts that you're trying not to connect with anymore. So I would really encourage her to focus on, Who she was before she was a mom. 

I'm not a journaler. I don't know. Are you guys journalers? Not really because I know a lot of times people are just journal I get in my like I get in my, I don't know, I'll have like a week where I feel like I want to write things down, but then I'm not a consistent journaler. Yeah, I'm not really great at it.

I know that for the people it works for, it works really amazingly. So I would say to find something like that. I like to speak, which is why I have a podcast and why I like coming on podcasts. So I voice note. Exactly. So I would encourage her to have some conversations with her younger self. That to me is one of the greatest exercises we can do as women.

Write yourself a letter, talk into something and speak yourself a letter, but talk to that younger version of yourself and try to remember  how you were at that point in your life, who you were, what were the things that were important to you? This is part of that whole. Going inward and self reflecting and really connecting with who you are at the moment Involves knowing who you were before because how can you get from point a to point b if you don't know where point a? 

Was  and I think that's part of us skipping too many steps, right? It requires us to be really reflective So that's what I would say go back think about who you were before  Write that personal letter let them know all the amazing things that are gonna happen for them and that should connect you that should spark Some sort of connection and then as you're moving through your day, you can bring that person to mind You can connect with that girl again And see what's next for her because sometimes,  especially in parenthood, this is a season.

I would be lying if I said, Oh, don't, you know, just find some time for yourself. Yeah. It's not that easy to just find some time for yourself. You know, we can't just,  my God, it's a curse. We can't just blow smoke. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you can't just blow smoke up your ass and say, you know, find time after the kids are gone to sit and have, that doesn't work.

It's life. It's.  messy, it's not quiet. So 

thinking and your brain's racing, bring your brain to a different place. Think about your younger self and how you can connect with that version of yourself. And then it will naturally evolve back as the kids evolve as well. I love that advice. Thank you, Jen. Sure. Thank you.  Is there anything today that we didn't talk about that you want to make sure we talk about? 

No, I mean, I think I love what you guys are doing and I love your podcast and everything that you're bringing to the surface. I think entrepreneurship is a windy, windy road with no map and you guys are really helping people kind of light the way, you know, so I appreciate you having me on and I'm really honored to be part of the conversation. 

Oh, thank you so much. We appreciate having you. Yeah. 

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