Let's Talk About That Break You Need But Won’t Take + Life Updates!

Feeling burned out but afraid to take a break from your business? You’re not alone. In this episode we are getting real about behind-the-scenes life pauses that had nothing to do with tropical vacations—and everything to do with real life.

We are also answering DMs and Not Nice Advice submissions about what it really looks like to take time off as a business owner without feeling like you’re falling behind. We're sharing honest reflections on burnout, and refreshing reminders that rest is productive.

If you've ever felt pressure to be "on" 24/7, this is your permission slip to step back, breathe, and redefine what success looks like for you.

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• Not Nice Clever
• Candice Carcioppolo
• Kat Torre

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Transcript

Hi, I'm Kat, marketer turned brand storyteller. And I'm Candice, educator turned entrepreneur. And you're listening to Not Nice, Clever. As CEOs and leaders, it's your job to always have the answers. But sometimes you need a little help. Leverage, if you will. We get it. This is the place for you. So wherever you're listening, 530 AM Club at the gym, on your way to your next meeting or putting out today's fire, let's get into it.

Clever crew, we are back. You get full length Kat and Candice today. No guests, all the not nice advice, life updates. I'm sure a few surprises or two. We never know what happens when we hit record here at not nice clever, but we're back. Welcome back Candice. Are you like a completely different person? I feel like a completely different person. I'd be a completely different person. Yeah. It's crazy being a mom. It is. So.

I know that we talked about this before we hopped on, but I feel like this time of year and maybe any time of year, if you get sick or there's the holidays right now, summer's coming up and I'm getting a lot of questions. I know you are too about going on vacation or taking some time off or feeling burnt out. Like I remember one of my friends was talking about how she was so burnt out on graduation season because she had so many like of her kids and her kids friends like graduating and summertime. And so it's just like the questions have come up about.

What do you do with maintaining your business and your life when you do take breaks or when you do go on vacation? And it's like, is it okay? And how, how long is too long or too short? And it's just, it seems like we need to hand out a lot of permission slips when it comes to taking time off. you're the queen of this. I've given permission slips. My teacher background loves that. All I learned as a teacher was that giving permission slips was basically bullshit. It's fake. Like a piece of paper that says you have permission. It's so dumb.

Yeah. That I've just carried that into my life and realized like the piece of paper literally means nothing. So you already have permission. It's crazy. but I learned recently Kat that there's a name for this period of time that moms use. I think I'm learning mom lingo now and it is May Sember. May Sember. I have not, but you know me. I love to learn a new word. well with, if you were just to hear May Sember, what does that?

I think of May to December and like May December relationships. I hear and think of like, it's a six month blur. Like May to December, you're like, what? You know, so I don't know. Those are my initial thoughts. So don't judge me for new to me. I learned this last week. Okay. And apparently it's, you know how December feels kind of frazzled and like you don't really get any work done because there's so many events and

but the holidays, retrograde things, family, travel, everything, right? Well, May apparently feels much like that to parents because of end of school. And there's always that weird spirit week where every single day they have to dress a certain way and moms are running around town by and all the different things and taking stuff to the potlucks or whatever. There's just a lot of things going on. And so May is kind of another like lost month.

Just like December is so may semper may semper. Okay. Yeah, I get it not what I was thinking but I get it. Yeah, so With that. Mm-hmm. I think there's a lot of people feeling guilty About not being as productive as they'd like to be maybe in their business And now is really a time to reflect on how you want may to feel you want to feel

like you're full of guilt and shame. Yeah, I don't know. Those are useless emotions. Those don't help you be more loving and more clear and stronger. So, okay. Well, that's great to hear because May has definitely been frazzling for me. April was crazy. I, I want to know like, again, selfishly, because this is on the horizon for me sometime soon, like your idea of

taking maternity leave as an entrepreneur, somebody like who we have this podcast together. Like, was there anything that you thought was going to happen that didn't happen or that you were surprised about? Because you took so much time off, which I was so excited for. And then you're easing back in and it's like, things are still going, business is still running. You know? So I technically took four months off. Well, three and a half. we're at four yesterday was four months. I returned four months yesterday. So.

three and half months I took off and in that time, my content, the previous content that I've made for the last few years, that I make any content basically the whole time I was gone, the previous content still allowed me to do business. So I was able to actually have a better quarter one in 2025 than I did in 2024, even though I did not post anything except maybe, you know, our podcast that popped up that I didn't post.

someone else did it for me and maybe some random pictures here and there. But that to me tells me how important it is to stay on top of creating your online presence because I didn't have to worry about not getting paid for my whole maternity leave because people were still reaching out to me and wanting to work with me and even willing to wait for me because of the content that I've already produced. Something that surprised me was that

I was pretty much ready to be like, okay, I'm not making any money for three and half months. And I actually made more money this year in Q1 than I did last year. So that's pretty wild. The other thing is that I was really torn about coming back to work and I thought I would want to immediately come back to work. watching how quickly my baby has grown, it makes me sad that I'm missing any time with her because...

literally day to day are like, my gosh, this outfit doesn't fit her anymore. Or now she's holding her own toys. She doesn't even need me anymore. Right? Like there's just little tiny things that she does on her own. And you're like, it really does go by fast. I know it's cliche and everyone says that literally no matter where I go, someone's stopping me and telling me cherish every moment. goes by so fast. It goes by so fast. Like I can't tell you how many times I'm going to have heard that. whether we're just running errands at Costco, we're at church, we're

at the supermarket, someone is telling us that. I know I've even seen it. Like I got to meet Isla in person when we were in LA for Andrew Jevin Social Summit, which was amazing. And I remember seeing what she looked like then. Also, clever crew, I'll share like in my mind, I wondered, I was like, is she going to come back a different person or like in her motherhood era or whatever it is, right? Yeah. And then I remember we're waiting in the lobby for you and the elevator door opened and you were wearing this like

Cheetah or Leopard Print Duster is one of your favorite ones. You had your hand on the stroller and you're like, what's up? It was you, but with a baby. I'm like, it's still Candace. Seeing her then and then you send me photos now and I'm like, that's a whole different baby. they grow literally so quickly. I was just looking at her newborn photos and she looks so different and I almost forgot what she looked like before.

I'm thankful that I get to make my own schedule, that I mostly get to work from home. I mean, I get to travel, but I'm taking Ila with me. And I can't imagine having to be the mom who goes to the office and has to leave her baby. I can't even imagine it. And I didn't know it was going to be this kind of mom, but like, I just want to be with her as much as possible. Yeah. She's very squeezable.

It's very squeezable and I've only met her once. also cry a lot more, Dom will tell you. So just like full transparency. Okay. Like everything makes me cry. Um, he always sends me videos about moms talking about like their kids growing up and like, will cry at any. feel like that's intentional. He's crying to like, the next girl. Yep. I cry at any thing that talks about like kids growing up. That makes me so sad. Um, I immediately wanted another baby, like literally came home and was like, ready for the next one.

Let's go. Doctors like, okay, chill out. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't know I was gonna feel like that. Like that's all that was all new to me. I do feel like maybe there's a little bit of softening in me after becoming a mom. Yeah. And that's like not not a bad thing. I feel like slowing down and taking time off and taking breaks and taking vacations gets a bad rap. But I'll share like

For me, the month of April, in a business sense, for me, pretty much a wash. I feel like I didn't create any original piece of content. I barely kept up with my weekly newsletter. I was just going through a lot on the family front, and April was a blur. And most of May felt like a blur. And really the only thing I kept up on was my email newsletter, because I love to write and I love to- Therapeutic.

It was so therapeutic. was almost therapy. I wasn't even doing it. I was like, yeah, this does make me money and get me speaking engagements, but really it's therapeutic. And same, I was accepting the amazing roles that Corinne, our producer, puts together for us. And especially the baby ones, guys, if you have not seen the baby ones. But then I was talking to my dad about it and he was like, okay. He's like, so you take a month off. How many months are there in a year? And I'm like, 12. He's like, okay. And you're crying about one month. He said it nicer than that, but like...

It was just a good perspective, like reset. And of course, as after I, you know, fully like unplug and I take care of myself and I do what I need to do. Mid-May comes around, people are reaching out. I booked a couple of speaking engagements. Like people are still sending me emails saying like how much they appreciate my content. And like you said, that library that we have spent years building consistently a month off doesn't erase. It doesn't erase all of that. And it felt so good to have that.

Like as a strategist and a consultant, I know that that's true, but there's a little part of you that doesn't trust it. You're like, is that true? Yeah. Like, it really, you know? And it was a nice affirmation for me to see. And past clients consistently sending referrals is also amazing. So thank you to all our past Yes. Thank you. sent me people even while I was on maternity leave. That was much appreciated. I feel so grateful for that.

And that comes down to real relationships. Like we talk about all the time. This is not just a transaction. This is about caring for someone. And when you make them feel cared for, they care for you in return. And I felt well taken care of during my maternity leave. Yeah. For sure. About the journey, not just like the job at hand, you know? So we mentioned we've got some not nice advice. Obviously we've got

of questions building up. You guys ask us questions in our client sessions if you're actively working with us. Candice, there's one from, boy, she signed it, Baby on my Hip. I can totally imagine that. Slash business on fire. Okay. So are you ready for this, Candice? I guess let's do it. I know, right? So she says, I've been following Candice's journey and just had a baby myself. I'm trying to run a business.

In between feedings, diaper changes and total sleep deprivation. But I feel like I'm failing at all of it. What does balance actually look like when you're juggling a newborn and also trying to be professional and stay afloat? Yeah, I think this is like Panera pick two scenario. Like you just pick two. You don't. Did you just come up with that? I actually have been mulling that around for the last...

I like it. I like it. So you're just going to choose two things that you want to be good at and they don't have to be big things. For example, for me, I knew that I wasn't going to feel good on my maternity leave if I didn't take a shower and get ready every day, even if I didn't go anywhere. And I was like, do people say they don't take showers when they have newborns? Like to me, I knew I would feel shitty. I knew I'd probably spiral. Maybe I'd get into depression.

and that was going to not be good for me. So I told Dom, make sure every single day, no matter what I say, I take a shower and I get ready. And I did that every single day. And sometimes that meant that Ila was in her bouncer outside of my shower and maybe she was fussing, maybe she was crying, but I took a few minutes to take my shower and get ready. That helped me feel like a human. That helped me feel put together. And so that was one of the things of the pick two that I was good at. Showering. Showering.

And you have to celebrate. I love a good shower, so I'm like bowing down to that. When you are a postpartum, you have to just pick two things that you want to feel good about that you commit to doing. That's it. And so maybe that's getting out one email every week. That's your second thing. There you go. So you're showered and you sent out an email, you're winning. I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves to feel like we can do it all. Like you absolutely need help. No one's doing this alone. Yeah.

I mean, if they are, feel terrible for them and I want to help them. Right. Like, so the people who are killing it that you're watching out there that you're like, wow, she's amazing. She's a mom and she's running her business and everything is just going well for her. She has helped. Yeah. that's just it. At end of the day, I want to call out those like trad mom trends. This may or may not like cause a shit storm in the comments, but I have seen those reels. I've seen those, those YouTube shorts about

trad moms doing like making homemade cough drops and like loading and unloading the dishwasher with their children. And while I fully advocate for you parenting, however you want to parent the trans, the lack of transparency and those types of reels and knowing that like, mean, they're supported and all that while they're the cough drops. Right. So like if you see that it's a friend, maybe it's someone, something to me doesn't buy themselves.

As someone who's been a mom for four months, I just don't think you do it. basically an expert. Yeah, basically an expert. But no one is doing everything by themselves because it's just not humanly possible. Like if you're going to work, someone has to care for your baby. And sometimes going to work is making a reel, is editing a video, is in some people's cases, baking a cake. That is going to work for them.

They're not 100 % of the time doing it with their child on the hip and making money while doing it. Yeah. So baby on my hip, don't compare yourself Someone's going to come in the comments and tell me that they are. And actually, I want to meet you if you are. Tell me your secrets, please. Honestly, are you superwoman? Like this lie of like, not lie, but this illusion, you know, that it's like, have it all together and all the time. And I'm not even a mom yet. I'm like a stepmom and I... And you know.

I'm I know and I'm very aware and I might have the same fears once I eventually have a kid of my own but like that's when I'll call up Candice and she'll be like stop it stop just stop being silly. I'm really thankful for my own mom. She came over like the first week that Isla was born and she cooked for me and helped me for the first week and then pretty much every week after that she came and spent the night one day every week and just helped me with the baby in some capacity and she was working too so she's like on her laptop working I might have been like

maternally, but on my laptop working and we would kind of switch off who's the baby, who's putting her down for a nap. And that was really nice. And I'm so grateful that I had that ability. I know not everyone has their mom to help like that. And so that also changed the way I felt about my mom. Wow. Being a mom is just a superpower because my mom was just helping me so much and I'm, you know, 41. It doesn't stop.

Guys, I still don't believe that Candace is 41. I card her every time I see her in person. I was telling my mom like, oh my gosh, I can't believe how much Ila's grown already. makes me so sad that she's not like a little baby anymore. And my mom's like, yeah, imagine how I feel. And it really hit me. was like, now I get that. I get what that means when she says that. Because I've heard it before. I'm like, OK, mom, whatever. You're so dramatic. Now I'm like, oh, no, that's crazy. I can't imagine my kid being 41. And you'll be 82. I know.

which basically just means you'll be 65. So it's all good. It's all good. My grandma's like 83 and she's, she's, she's kicking. Amazing. Yeah. And fashionable and great. So I that. We have another, um, not nice advice question. Do you want to read this one, Candace? Okay. Yes, I do. Um, I'm exhausted, like soul tired.

But every time I even think about stepping back from my business, I get this wave of guilt that I'm being lazy or giving up. Is it actually possible to take a break without losing all my momentum? an alternate version of myself write this question? First thing I'll say is I've been there. I think Candice has been there. I think Corinne has been there. think the belief that I would kind of look at and just sit with is

Your worthiness doesn't come from your busyness and being busy doesn't mean that you're productive. Being busy doesn't mean that you're useful or effective or efficient. Those are two separate things. Resting is an activity. has return on investment. It is not lazy. think just honestly, I would start out like writing down that rest is not lazy. Rest is a requirement.

and just write it down as many times as you need to rewire your brain. Because I wrote down for a certain amount of time, rest has ROI. Because I always think in terms of results, I'm like, what is this getting me? Is this getting me more time, more energy, more money, more social status, more comfort, whatever it is? And rest is a choice. It does have return. Doesn't mean you're lazy. And like Candice and I have proven, Candice took four months off. I took a month off.

I stopped all of my marketing activities except for one thing, and I'm still booking business and Candice is still booking business. So like we are evidence that pausing is not going to lead you to burning everything down to the ground. And I think just really, yeah, finding like small ways to step back. If taking your foot off the pedal like freaks you out so much, just take an extra hour back each day.

and then take an extra two hours, right? And like ease yourself into it. Cause I get it's hard to like completely rewire how you look at building your calendar. Like I don't know about you, Kiness, but my calendar now versus what it looked like in 2019, so much cleaner. have more blogs, right? I more blogs for like my work and I do for actual meetings. And I think that's something that everyone should look at is look at your calendar. Are you being run by meetings with people that you feel like you have to be at or are you

really allowing yourself time and space to do the things that you know you need to do to move your business forward. Because there's probably a lot of things that you're doing right now. Actually, Kat and I talked to someone today. We were on a consultation with a potential client who was telling us all the millions of things that she was doing. And really only two of them are bringing her business. Why are we doing all these other things? So Kat and I were like, easy. Chop off 90 % of the things that you're doing and focus on what's bringing you results and your business will explode.

And so that might be you right now you might be filling your calendar with things that you feel like you're supposed to do that other people are doing that are working for other people, but you're not actually thinking what's bringing you the biggest ROI or the least amount of time investment. And that's as a mom, that's what I'm thinking about now. I'm thinking about how do I have the most space in my life to be with my baby as often as I want to and you know, still feel fulfilled professionally because that does matter to me and not.

I don't want to not work. I just want to be smart about it. And another thing that I was thinking about going back to my question about baby, to baby on my hip, business on fire. I'm thinking also about how to just tap into the people you already know. So many of us forget that there is business to be done with someone you already know. You don't need to find someone new. And so on Friday, send out five emails to people you already know.

I can think about people in my mind right now who I haven't connected with for months that I know if I sent him an email and was like, Hey Tim, how are things going? Anything I can help you with? He'd be like, Oh yeah, so and needs this, so and needs that. And can you do this? That's going to build momentum. And that's a warm lead. think in addition to that, yes, like reminding burnt out, but ambitious because girl, we love ambition. Like, and to what Candice had said earlier, nobody does it alone. So like if you're trying to glorify.

doing it all by myself. I'm bootstrapping it. It's all on me. It's like there's no glory in being a martyr for your own business. Nobody breaks through or scales by themselves. And if they do, they're probably not being honest with themselves. There were many favorite moments from Diary of a CEO's interview with Trevor Noah, but many. Definitely go check out that episode. But one that sticks out in my mind right now,

is Trevor Noah is like, you know, the word self-made is so funny to me that like you think as a human being interconnected as a part of this world in this race, that you are self-made. Like you suddenly all by yourself became successful. And he's like, it's a crock of shit. It's not true. That's so good. Right. And I agree, you know, because I think about the success of our partnership and collaboration and it's like, I'll say this clever crew, there is no way I know myself. I would have gotten past episode

five without being in partnership with Candice. This works with us together, you know, and then having our producer. don't do it by yourself. The last thing I'll say is that actually Candice, I love being lazy. Girl, rebrand the word lazy. Because what does it actually mean? I I saw a brand recently that's like called something like the lazy CEO or something like that. It's all about kind of

I know this word is not the best, like hacks on how to do things like the easy way in quotation marks. I look at being lazy as you're leveraging. Like you have the ability to chill. You have the ability to take your time. You have the ability to indulge in leisurely activities. You worked hard for that and smart. It's not a bad thing. There's a trend on Instagram right now and I'm going to butcher it, but it says something like, it says something like,

Corine Ingrassia (23:17.676)
I almost forgot this is the whole point. saw our friend Dan posted that. need to, that was a trend I think I saved. want to bookmark that. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to think about clever crew. What's that video that plays on the reel that says, I almost forgot this is the whole point. And that video that's playing in your mind that you would put with that reel, is that what goes on in your life more often than not? That's sitting with your kid on the beach. Are you?

being okay with that only being once a year. So I'm not. Yeah. For me right now, it's being able to travel. Like I was just thinking, we booked a getaway to the Pocono Mountains in July. And I was telling Will, was like, we should come back on this day so we have a day to decompress. And then two weeks later, I'll probably fly out to Scottsdale and spend time with Candice. And just being able to do that, like book flights where I'm...

like having fun with friends, but also maybe working, but also at the same time, because like work-life balance, I've now replaced the word balance with harmony. I love that. Yeah, like I'd seen a real, I don't know, a year ago where it was like, the idea that marriage or partnership is 50-50 is like laughable, because that's not true. There's going to be times when one partner is carrying more of the load and the other partner needs support. And then vice versa, it toggles.

Right. know, and so it's like that's in harmony. I love that. And this reminds me of the other day, I had a appointment on a Saturday. And so told Dom, like, hey, I'm going to go here. You got the baby basically, right? Yeah. And so he's like, OK. He's like, is this like a friend or is this business? And I literally had to stop and think, is this a friend or is this business? Because the lines are so blurred now.

I said both. don't really know. I'm having coffee with my friend who I'll likely do business with. There we go. That's it. The only reason I do business with them is because I value them. They value me. We have shared values and I respect them. So we're also friends. Yeah. It feels good to do business with people that I enjoy. That's the dream. Burnt out but ambitious. Just wait until you are able to say no to business. You will get to that point where you can say no.

and just say yes when it feels like a full body yes. So as we wrap this episode, let's wrap it with some not nice advice that we wish someone had given us. Candice, what's some not nice advice? You know, with what you are navigating, you wish someone had given you. I wish someone just said, do it your way. There's not one way to be a mom. Motherhood doesn't only look like this, fill in the blank. I wish someone just said, do what feels good to you.

How about you Kat? I mean, you know me, I'm bougie. I love my relaxation time, love my self care, but I wish somebody had told me that like, it doesn't matter how much time you take off or how many vacations you go on or how often your phone's on, not disturb. That doesn't fully fix feeling burnt out. Putting boundaries in your life does because I know people who are so well-boundaried and they work six to seven days a week and they're fine with it.

And I know people that are so well-boundaried that they work one day a week and they're fine with it. So it's a mix, breaks and boundaries. Well, Clever Crew, thank you for joining us for our Not Nice Advice slash life updates episode. Definitely tap the link in the show notes so that you can submit your question for a chance to be answered on our next Not Nice Advice segment with a guest or maybe just with Candace and I, who knows? We'll see. There you go.

Thanks for joining us on Not Nice, Clever. Remember to follow Not Nice, Clever wherever you listen to audio. And if you haven't already, drop that five star review. Share your takeaways. Tell us your story. We love to hear it. Signing off, you're not so nice, but so clever besties that mean business. See you soon.