Saying The Inside Thing Outloud With Shivani Peterson

Is being “too much” really the problem… or the power move? 

In this episode, we’re sitting down with Shivani Peterson—loan officer, speaker, coach, and expert in being unapologetically herself. Shivani is known for saying the quiet part out loud—on topics like money, motherhood, hormones, politics, mental health (you know… all the things we’re “not supposed” to talk about online). Shivani is sharing how being "refreshingly direct"  has helped her and her clients build a strong business that thrives on trust and meaningful connection.

This one is for the entrepreneurs who are tired of performing and ready to connect. 

Shivani is proof: when you stop trying to be “professional” and start being real, the right people will listen (and want to work with you).

Connect with Shivani:

• Follow Shivani on Instagram
• Shivani’s Circle community
• Mind Over Markets coaching program

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• Candice Carcioppolo
• Kat Torre

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Transcript

 You're known for being refreshingly direct. That was so nice of you to say Refreshingly. I think you should be open to hearing the other side always. But do you ever worry about being too much? Do you know how I knew that I needed to get my hormones checked is it was the first time in my life I started worrying about things I had said to someone, like having anxiety after a conversation.

Do you think perimenopause is also a thing that was treated like an inside thing for a long time? Everything do. There's so much stuff. So there's perimenopause, there's money. I've been on this mission with like getting more people to talk about what works for them financially versus what doesn't look at motherhood.

Like Candace, you just had a baby. Yep. It is so much better for us than it is for our moms, just like perimenopause, because we talk about the challenges of it. For previous generations, nobody was talking about how hard it was, so nobody was offering anybody else support. Motherhood has gotten so much better since we became more open about it, and I think there's few things.

That would not get better by more people talking about them. Money, perimenopause, politics, real estate, anything like, why don't we just talk about everything. Today we're talking with Shivani Peterson, a powerhouse loan officer, speaker and coach who's redefining what leadership and success look like in real estate.

She's built a bold, honest brand by saying the things most people only think, and guess what? It's working. Welcome to the show, Shivani. We're so happy to have you today. I just love that you said that in the intro. And I say the quiet part out loud. Yep. And that's what we're gonna talk about today, because that is a thing that the clever crew often has trouble with.

Kat and I have had trouble with that in the past. So we are excited to talk to you about that today. Um, you're, so, you're known for being refreshingly direct. Huh. That was so nice of you to say refreshingly. I probably said it in the most PC way. I'm sure other people have worded that differently. Mm-hmm.

Um, but do you ever worry about being too much in your industry? Do you know How I knew that I needed to get my hormones checked is it was the first time in my life I started worrying about things I had said to someone, like having anxiety after a conversation and I was like, something's not right with me.

'cause like. Never in my life have I replayed a conversation back in my head and I was like, I think I have depression. So I tell my doctor and she's like, no, you just need to get your hormones checked. And we checked 'em and I, I like now I'm doing like full on hormone therapy at 38, but I'm talking to a lot of women about it because perimenopause is real and our mom's just suffered through and white knuckled it.

And yeah, it's been a game changer for me to like. Do what's right for my hormones with supplements and medicine. And you knew that by the way, that you were feeling maybe an anxiety that you never felt before? Yeah. That's crazy. My, my best friend, she's a few years older than me, and she's also started, um, talking a lot about perimenopause, especially in the online space because I feel like it's not even something that I heard about before.

No, we, it was totally under the radar, but it's making so many people miserable. If this, if any of this happened to men, let me tell you the billions of dollars that would be going into research to fix it immediately. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Um, so as you began to show up more unfiltered online, um, what.

Started to happen to your personal brand? Like what did you start to see? Yeah, so it was definitely a shift 'cause be I started posting content and using video the way I had learned in college. 'cause my undergrad degree is in broadcast journalism, so I was doing it like a reporter talking one to many and for me.

It wasn't the shift that I was gonna start being more authentic or something. It was that someone told me, you have to stop doing this one to many. You need to talk to them like it's one-to-one, like your friend is on the other side of the camera, your potential client. It's just one person watching that video.

And as soon as that clicked in my head that I was only talking to one person, then I started being myself. And once I started being myself, it was like, you can't go back now. Yeah. Because being yourself makes you more excited to record the next video because it's not as. Daunting. Daunting. 'cause you're not faking it.

You're not acting well. And like I wasn't a good reporter. I sent my resume tape out for a full year after graduation and didn't get one job. So I wasn't doing a good job doing that on my content either. That's so funny. Clever crew. If you're listening in and you're wondering where a cat is, she is here.

She's a little quiet today 'cause she's having a little, you know, her voice is gone basically. So. Say, hi, Kat. Hey, crew. I'm rocking the Scarlett Johanson bedroom. There you go. Yeah. Voice slash asmr. Who knows? It might be a new, a new way to interact. Oh my God. The, as smr people are gonna love this. Right.

Okay, so I'm here crew, so she's here. I'll, I'll answer a few or ask a few cues, but Candace and Shiv, like, I love that you guys are diving right into it. Okay. So I'm, I'm gonna ask all the questions. We planned this out ahead of time, so Ka has her voice in here for sure. Um, you also have a blog, a blog post that's called, should I Say The Inside Thing Out Loud.

So I wanna talk a little bit about what are the inside things. So my blog is all real estate stuff, whereas where you'll see on my Instagram it's, it's a hodgepodge of me. But every Friday I put out a blog to help realtors sound smart at happy hour. So when someone asks them what's going on with the real estate market, they can like have a good response based on what happened with the economy that week and start an intelligent conversation.

So it's always based on whatever's happening with the economy. This year that's been heavy political because we're in a year where politics are impacting financial markets in a really big way, and I will get heat for saying what I really think, but. In an industry where we are so quickly being replaced by technology, I'm leaning into being a human being with an opinion, being a human being who has something to say.

You know, being someone who's willing to give you my advice, I'm willing to lend you my 12 years of experience in the real estate space because if I'm not willing to do that and give you my opinion, why not just use the bot? Right. So your your response to this new. Culture of AI replacing everything with AI is to dive into being even more human.

Yes, because, so in my Master's program, I'm graduating in December with a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. Yeah, thank you. It is a big feat because it's a two year program that I'm five years into currently, so I don't even, you're a mama, you're a boss. You have all these things going on. It's incredible.

Will feel very accomplished when I finish this because there has definitely been times over the past five years where I wasn't sure if I was going to, um, but we learned a lot about emotional intelligence, right? In this program and psychology and the neuroplasticity of the brain, which is really a very hopeful concept.

But as I learned all that stuff about what builds human connection versus what breaks it, I was slowly integrating that into my business on the mortgage side. Then in the last six months when AI has become so loud, right? The noise about this has become so loud. I'm like, well, it's not that scary actually, because for a long time I've been talking about using human connection to improve your conversion.

I have a. Coaching program called Mind Over Markets, where I try to teach people emotional intelligence skills to be better at their um, conversion and to be better at their marketing and building a brand that's more authentic and feels less sleazy. Yeah, less sleazy. We're all for that. I know there's a lot of sleaze out there, you know.

Oh my gosh, too much. So going back to the inside things. Yeah. Talk about a few of the inside things that maybe you've shared that. Other people are afraid of talking about. A lot of people are scared to talk about politics right now for sure, because it's, it is very charged situation. Um, I grew up in a house that's split politically, so we fought about interesting.

We fought about politics. We talked about it at the dinner table all the time, and you disagreed with people, and then you went to bed and you woke up the next morning. That sounds like a benefit to you, right? Because you're not afraid of that. Yeah, we're, I'm not afraid to talk about it, so, but you know, it has put me in some tricky situations 'cause a lot of people don't believe you should talk about politics in the workplace or in a professional setting.

Whereas I think you should, I think, I think you should be open to hearing the other side always. You think perimenopause is also a thing that was treated like an inside thing for a long time. Dude, there's so much stuff. So there's perimenopause, there's money. I've been on this mission with like getting more people to talk about what works for them financially versus what doesn't look at motherhood.

Like Candace, you just had a baby. Yep. It is so much better for us than it is for our moms, just like perimenopause, because we talk about the challenges of it all over Instagram. There's people talking about their kids being assholes or how hard this phase is, or that newborns don't actually sleep. For previous generations, nobody was talking about how hard it was, so nobody was offering anybody else support.

Motherhood has gotten so much better since we became more open about it, and I think there's few things that would not get better by more people talking about them. Money, perimenopause, politics, real estate, anything like why don't we just talk about everything? I honestly think. People who describe themselves as, I'm a private person, they just have some mental issue that they need to resolve.

Like there's just something going on. There's only part of them that needs to be healed. Yes, there's some kind of dissonance inside that they are masking by saying I'm a private person. But are are there things that are still private that you won't talk about? No. No. Honestly, like there's nothing I wouldn't talk about with someone.

I can't think of something that I wouldn't Okay. In the online space,

like I'm just thinking like you and your husband have a fight last night. You're not going on Instagram story and like recapping it for everyone. If I thought it could help someone in the audience, I would. If you think it can help, but that's, that's the difference, right. It's difference between like airing dirty laundry and being like, this thing happened.

This is what I learned, this is how I handled it. Now I'm gonna share. Oh, that's so true. I think there's a difference between the two of those things. Yeah, and that's because you have PR training, so you can articulate that very well. And that's so valid. That's totally true. But like one, so my mom is on Instagram.

I got in trouble by my mom on Instagram a few times. I don't know if you have Oh yeah. Trouble. Yeah. Yeah. So. As soon as she joined me and her, June and Neil were like, Ooh, this is not good. And then you were like, block. One time I was flying home from, I had spoke at this event, uh, for Sotheby's in January in Scottsdale.

I was having my tummy tuck like the next week, and so I really wanted to get home and spend time with my family. Like I was, you know, doing this major elective surgery. I could die. Then at Krista's wedding, people would be saying, oh, it would've been so great if mom was here, but she was my god pain, you know?

So like I was like, I just wanna go home. Like I really wanna make sure I get home with my family. Yeah. So I had a flight and I text my husband and I'm like, I just really don't want Southwest to screw me. He goes, I'm gonna book, let's keep the Southwest flight. I'm gonna book the American flight. That's an hour later too.

Oh, that's nice. Well, as I'm taking off in the American flight, the Southwest flight had been delayed, delayed, delayed, canceled. So I posted and I said, who thinks Josh should get laid tonight? Your mom saw it. My mom or June saw at first, and he goes, oh, mom's gonna be pissed. You're married. You know, she sends me this text.

Please stop using Instagram as your therapist. Get a journal or talk to the mirror. What's next? Telling people Josh's dick size. Oh my God. I sent the screenshot to Neil and her June. Neil rides back. I've never heard mom say the word dick. Oh my God. He goes, you need to block her. You are too hard on her nerves.

You can't let mom see her Instagram. You can't see that. And then I posted all of that. I shared that whole story. I love it. So, burned her. It's great content. Um, yeah, I got in trouble a couple times for dropping the F bomb and now that I'm a mom, I'm kind of like, I don't know if I want Ila to say the F word either.

So I don't know. You know, Tony Robin said that. They're just words, right? Like Yeah. People choose to attach so much meaning to them. Meaning to them, of course. I think there's certain words that you just can't say, you know? Yeah. It doesn't matter. Like there's a historical meaning to them. We just don't say 'em.

Yeah. But I swear obviously a lot and my, it drives my mom insane. She says the F word falls from my mouth, like pedals fall from a flower. And I'm like, so poetic mom. Um, but. The problem when you have kids is they'll repeat everything you say and they'll get themselves into trouble. And so I do think you can't swear around your kids because they're not old enough to do so responsibly.

Yeah. They don't have the understand the context of places and people. Um, so basically I'll, everyone has people watching them that may or may not hate on content and you just gotta push through. It might even be your own family. I think it's often. Own family at first who is talking about your content and why you should or should not be sharing.

Let's talk about how you coach others who want to speak up but maybe are afraid of being misunderstood. I really try to to tap into why they describe why they are so hesitant to show up. And I explore the places where they do feel fully comfortable to be themselves, to be the authentic version of themselves versus the places they don't.

To try to figure out what we need to recreate versus what we need to step away from and then have less of in our life. Because ideally, you're operating in a space. You create a little ecosystem for yourself between your work, your family, your social life, where you are getting to be yourself all the time.

Yeah. But I've learned through therapy and through coaching people that. Not a lot of people do. You know, people have not built that kind of ecosystem for themself. And so sometimes they lose touch themself with who they really are. And so it's, it's a whole discovery process. It really is. And then who is the kind of person that is primed to work with you in that capacity?

As far as coaching, uh, I can't be personally bothered by the F word. They have to be willing to do the work. You know, I find, I find people who are willing to work on themselves. Extremely inspiring. Yeah. And something I'm working on myself, it is to stop finding people who are stagnant. Repulsive, because that's not nice.

But I have learned that about myself, that I have a really hard time with that. Yeah. I think as you continue to build your brand, as you continue to level up your business. For me, I feel like I have less patience for people who aren't moving at the same speed. I, I have a lot of empathy, so when I see someone who's struggling, I am not repulsed by them.

I want to help them. But when I see the person who is personally unhappy and trying to take down everyone around them. To bring them down to that level. I don't like that. Like Right. Don't put down the people who are trying, don't put down the people who are evolving. That's what human beings are designed to do.

Mm-hmm. And, and I think motherhood has also taught me that there are seasons in people's lives, right? There are seasons that may be a time for them to, to slow down or step back or whatever it is that makes sense for them, and like learning to be more empathetic towards that. As I step into like a new era in my life.

Right? So as a mom, let's continue on the motherhood part. Do you feel like motherhood has shaped how you show up and work with your clients? Motherhood has taught me that I have zero control over my life, like zero, that you know, you can be a very regimented person. You can think you know everything, you can do a lot of research and read a lot of books.

But these kids will show you that you are not in charge, you know? Mm-hmm. And they will teach you that. You have to learn to adapt with grace. Because that's something we wanna teach them to do, right? We wanna teach them to not be rigid, to not be control freaks, to not grow up to be perfectionists. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin and not feel like they have to control everything around them.

So that's something I've had to learn because I was a very regimented person before I had kids and I was very like just rigid with my things and I set goals and I hit them on time, and I did this, and I did that. It's, it's taught me that a lot more. I don't have control over everything, and that's a good thing.

It's good to get your path changed. It's good to get the curve balls. It's good to have to reinvent yourself. It's good to have to relearn who you are multiple times because human beings we're designed to evolve. So if you find that you're not in touch with yourself anymore, that's actually doesn't mean something's wrong, right?

Like that's what's supposed to happen. Motherhood hit me. So all I ever wanted to be was a mom. Like I thought for sure I wanted to be a mom. And when I became a mom, I'd wanna stay at home with my kids. And that's all I ever wanted. I wanted these three kids. I wanted to have two boys and a big age gap.

And a girl like I have in my family. You did two. Wow. And so I, when I had my son first I was 28 at the predetermined age, I decided I was going to have a kid with or without a husband. And I was ready. I had nannied for years, like I knew. Mm-hmm. I had judged everyone around me and so I had decided what I was gonna do, what I wasn't gonna do, and oh my God, I got, I had horrible postpartum.

Mm-hmm. I had a birth that went sideways and I ended up in an emergency C-section, which I punished myself for. Mentally. I struggled with nursing. My right nipple, literally detached. Oh. It was the left. Like was hanging off the areola. Oh my. 'cause this fucker wouldn't open his mouth properly to eat. He'd only hang off with the side.

But I wasn't going to fail at breastfeeding 'cause I'd already failed at birth. And the nine months after that, just white knuckling it through postpartum depression. It was really hard on me and it really changed who I was as a person. But coming out of it, I learned a lot and it changed, you know. I think it made me a better mother in the long run.

But the other day, uh, it was my second Born's birthday and we filled balloons with little notes to him, and one of the notes says, the day you were born was the best day of my life. And my firstborn saw it, and he's like, comes into me with tears in his eyes. He goes, what do you mean? I go, well, Chrisy, you know, you kind of refuse to come out.

And then after a lot of drama, they had to cut mommy open to take you out. And then when you came out, you didn't want to eat neither. So it was all very stressful for mommy. So meeting you was amazing and you are my favorite. I tell all of them, you are my favorite, but the day you were born was not the best day for mommy.

He starts laughing. He goes, I didn't wanna come out. I'm like, yeah, you would think that's funny. Little man. That's, um, going back to your nipple. Are we, is it back on? Are we Yeah. Can I ask that? Dude, it is. So National Geographic, being a mom, like nothing teaches you more, that you are just a mammal literally than childbearing and childbirth.

I, I never know if I have a shirt on or not anymore. 'cause like, I'm always just breastfeeding and sometimes my, my boobs are just out and I'm dumbs like, do you know that you're just walking around? Oh, I guess I should close a window. I don't, I don't know. I, I'm just over here taking baby all the notes.

Like, I have a stepdaughter and, and motherhood's on the horizon for me, but I, I remember recently a friend of mine who has a six month old said that if she could describe motherhood in one word, it would be the word surrender. I. That's so wise. Mm-hmm. And she said, I know you, Kat, she's, you're determined.

You're very ambitious. Shiv, you know, Candace, you and I, we all have that in common. Corin, our producer, um, she's just like, if I could give you one thing to journal on before you become a mother, it's surrender. I was like, okay. That is excellent advice. Love that. Yeah. The day my nipples went numb was a glorious day.

Oh yeah. Same. So much to look forward to Clever crew. Oh yeah. It's Can't Wait for Cat. It's also amazing. So really do look forward to it. I think it's like the best thing I've ever done. For sure. I have loved watching you do it because you've done it it with so much joy. Oh, thank you. I, I think I like, I, I always given to me at the perfect time in my life where I'm able to do it with joy.

You know, I, I understand that timing is the thing that made it. Great. All right, y'all, back to, um, our conversation now. I'm getting emotional, but it's fine. So our clever crew is made up of a lot of introverts. Kat and I are both introverts. Um, and a lot of our conversation is about how do you get over, you know, your fear of talking to people.

How do you show up online in a space when you feel like you're an introvert? Maybe you feel like. No one's listening and that's the problem. Or you feel like everyone's listening and that's the problem. Um, do you work with introverts in your coaching and how do you teach them to like overcome these things?

So the advice I give them, because I'll often get asked, you know, why don't you ever deal with imposter syndrome? Like, why don't you ever feel like not ready for the moment? And that's because I always know that I care the most. Like I always feel that I'm the one who should get that client's business because I'm the one who cares about them the most.

There might be another mortgage lender out there who knows more, who has more experience than me, or maybe a better interest rate than me, but I care more about the client so they will be in better hands with me if I'm giving a news interview. Sure, there's probably a different economist out there with more expertise on the history of the stock market and how it impacts mortgage bonds, but I really care what's happening with the stock market right now and how it's impacting mortgage bonds and in turn, people's affordability and retirement.

I care the most, so I should be there. I deserve that opportunity, and I will do a good job at the interview because I care the most before I get on a stage. You know, you'll, you'll be speaking at events with people usually who are, have commanded much larger stages, or the headliner, the, you know, they're the, they're the main tag or whatever it's called.

And I think, you know, I could be worried that I shouldn't be on a stage or shouldn't share a stage with these people, but I think, well, I care. Like I literally care more than them how my keynote goes today, I care the most. So I deserve to be here. So I think when you have those nerves, you gotta check in.

Did you care enough? Do you care enough? 'cause if you do, then remind yourself of that and the nerves dissipate. Now, there have been times when I was underprepared for something, I didn't care enough, and then the nerves were justified and it was real that I should be feeling nervous and I should have hesitation because I didn't care enough to prepare properly.

But if you did your prep. You care the most, you deserve to do that and you will kill it 'cause you care more than anybody else. So earlier you talked about sleazy sales habits. Let's talk a little bit about those sleazy or cringey sales habits that we still see specifically in the online space that people should drop today.

Oh God. Just a couple. What do you got? So. It's always scary to share the don'ts, right? 'cause we don't wanna scare people, right? And they're already out there overthinking it. We're excited that you're trying and we're just helping you to get better. Yes. Here's one thing, you can just drop and focus your energy on something different.

That's it. So for sure, avoid our mistakes. Like mine was talking one to many. Don't do that. Don't be disingenuous and be like, you know. Call me if you're ready to buy or sell. 'cause that's not what you would say to the person you met at coffee, like directly to their face. You would say, if you're in this situation, this is how I'd be really able to help.

You know? Yeah. Now, so don't sound like a commercial. Don't, you're not looking for that. Don't talk to the masses. You gotta talk to one person. 'cause if you talk to the masses, you're gonna sound like a commercial. Mm-hmm. Um, don't pretend to be somebody you're not. And you know, when you're doing this. You know it, you know, when you saw somebody else do something that you're trying to emulate, that's okay.

You can be inspired by other people, but don't pretend to be somebody else. Someone, um. Another mortgage lender in the space who is, she's so cute and I love her actually. I probably am gonna meet her and be in love with her, um, at the forward event, but she ripped off a script of my video word for word, a minute and 15 seconds, and did not change one word of the video.

No, I need to love her. That, that's, that's such grace. I don't know if I, I don't, I didn't like it though. I didn't like that. Don't rip off somebody's idea Word for word. That's cringe, guys. Plus it's not gonna sound like you as you say it. Yeah. You're not building your own voice. Uh, I think the last don't, I would tell people don't show up all the time selling something.

You gotta give the value for free. Yeah. And let's talk a little bit about what the value is. 'cause I think that can be gray for a lot of the clever crew because. You know, today I watched a story of you cutting on Drew's hair, right? And that was something for me to talk to you about today, and that has nothing to do with mortgage or being a lender.

It doesn't necessarily help your audience build trust. Actually, I trust you. I trust, I don't wanna be around you with scissors in your hand. I'll just say that. So like, so why would you share a thing like that? Can you explain to the clever, clever crew how that's part of. Me? Yeah. So when I started doing content, my main goal was just to be able to work with less assholes because I hated when you'd be trying to get, that's a great goal, right?

You are trying to get a deal from someone who doesn't wanna work with you. And it sucks, you know? Right. Like I just wanted to work with And you hate it when and when you're in the deal. You hate it the whole time. Yes. Yeah. It makes you wanna quit. Yeah. It's the, the, and this is a high stakes thing if you're in the real estate space, like, uh, as a realtor or a mortgage lender, we are in a high stakes situation where we get deeply personal with people.

And if you don't click, it sucks. Yeah, but when you do click it is life changing because you are able to impact real change in that person's advice by them take in that person's life. By them taking your advice, like you are able to really move the needle for them in a big way. I wanted to just find more people who would like working with me.

I. So I found that I have to show them who I really am so they can decide if they really like me or not. 'cause otherwise, if they, if I don't show up as who I am, then I'm probably not gonna like them when they call me because we're not vibing, you know? Yeah. So if they're on, if they do happen to discover me on my Instagram, they're gonna see.

The value I have to share from my own experience as a real estate investor and then the 12 years of helping other people get mortgages, they're gonna see all that stuff and get important information on the economy too, in real time. But then they're also gonna learn who I am as a person, because my goal is they won't call me if they don't like that person, right?

You're giving them the inside scoop of who you are, giving them opportunities to talk to you without the nervousness of like, does this mean I'm engaging in a business relationship? Because maybe they're just gonna DM you and be like, oh my gosh, her hair looks so cute. And that's just the beginning of a conversation that you get to have with that person that eventually does lead to building rapport and trust.

Do you know what they messaged me? Candace. What did they say? That I should open a salon. Wow. How supportive.

You call me when Ila four and you wanna cut her hair for the first time. She had her in the sink and she was holding her hair and I was like, oh my gosh. I was so nervous. It did. It came out nice. One side is longer. It's fine. Yeah. That's called Aline. Okay. Like I can rock that. You know what, thank you for not cutting bangs.

I appreciate that. 'cause that would've scared me. Listen, I'm trying to reduce my workload here, bangs that I have to style every day. I already have to do my own. I, I talked to my mom into letting me have bangs in the fourth grade. It was a big mistake. Anyways, we knew you were destined for sales from that day on.

Okay, going back to. Um, sorry, things we talked about before the interview. So before you came on, we asked you like, what are the things that you can't shut up about? And one of the things that you wrote down was that you wanted to, you can't shut up about mental health in the real estate space. And that sounds like something that people aren't saying out loud as well.

So how have you seen mental health show up in the real estate space, and why are you passionate about talking about that? So because I've been going through my master's program at the same time that there's been some really serious market shifts, I've been watching my colleagues, realtors, and lenders ride this rollercoaster of like career success and then career failure, um, market conditions that are also going up and down wildly.

The clients we're dealing with are also living through the same economic and like. Political climate that we all are, people's mental health, to be honest, is like in the dumpster. You know, like since the pandemic, it's been just bad after bad. No one's really had a chance to catch their breath. And especially if you work with people who are, um, in the millennial demographic, like for them it's been nonstop chaos, basically our entire adult lives, you know?

Yeah. And so. I find a lot of pressure. 'cause as I was saying, for real estate, people we're involved in a deeply personal way during a very high stakes time of someone's life. But then that ends for that person and they go on and we stay here. We stay in the high stakes, big wins, big fails, huge dopamine hits, and then huge disappointments all the time.

That's our normal, and I think that it's taking its toll on people. I've noticed this amongst people I work with. I've seen it online like. Realtors and lenders are struggling mentally, and I know a lot of them don't wanna admit it, and that's okay. They can hear this as one of many, and they don't have to.

They can internalize only what they want to of it, but you gotta protect your mental health, and especially if you wanna level up in your business, you need mental clarity right now. But honestly, just do it for yourself and your family because you have to recognize this job is hard and it has taken a toll on you.

What are some small steps that you recommend when people are like, I've never really thought about this with much clarity, Shiv, what do you recommend for them to do? If they're like, you know what, maybe shivs right and I do need to work on my mental health. Where do they start? So you have to first recognize the difference between a coach and a therapist.

So as a coach, which I've done versus a therapist, which I'm becoming a coach, is gonna tell you what to do. Therapists are not actually allowed to tell you what to do. When I found this out in my first class, I almost quit because I really like telling people what to do and I was like, oh shit, this is actually not cut out for me.

Um, a therapist is supposed to help you figure out what it is that you want. A therapist is supposed to help you find clarity around your challenges and help you determine the next best steps for yourself. And then a therapist is supposed to set you free. You should not need them forever. So I would say to them.

You really need to do a check-in with your mental health, and I know you have your coach, your accountability coach who bust your balls every Tuesday morning, but maybe you need a therapist who you can talk to about everything that's going on, and you don't have to feel like you're gonna be mentally ill because you went to talk to a therapist.

A good therapist is discharging you from day one. They're getting ready to set you free from your very first session. So it is a temporary step you can take to get a better grasp on everything. If you're not into mental health, do it for your business because when you have more clarity, you'll have higher conversion.

Yeah, I love that. So true. I'll um, even share too with our clever crew. I recently restarted therapy and I'll probably be in it for maybe a couple months and then it will complete, but I look at it as taking care of my mental fitness in the same way we take care of our physical fitness as entrepreneurs.

Your mind. Is your greatest asset, your greatest muscle, and you need help working it out. You need help keeping it fit and lean and strong and clear. So there's bad about it, you know, it just is. Thank you. Yeah, I love that. So we know that you also created a free resource community and you call it your inner circle.

Can you tell us more about that? If the clever crew wants to join, what can they expect when they're there? Yeah, so I created this circle community, um, it's circle do shift peter.com because I was putting, I'm putting a lot of work into creating content that I present in short form, long form, live events, events all over the country, virtual events.

And I thought it's all, all this stuff is spread out all over the place. And if there's not an easy spot for someone to come and get all of it right. And then there's the challenges that relying on social media algorithms present in that. You have people who tell the algorithm they want to follow you, they want to see you, and then the algorithm shows your content to everybody but them.

So I thought, this is not, the way it is right now is not fostering the sense of community I want. I never came on here to be an influencer. I came on here to find people who I would vibe with so that we could help each other. So I wanted to put everything in one spot, but I also wanted for the people who wanna see.

My stuff. Who wanna learn about the art of doing the best you can or who want to learn about Time Mastery, or who want the real estate updates and want to learn about passive income streams, or they wanna be a part of the female empowerment movement. They can find it all in one place and it's all free.

I love that. And we'll put that link in the show notes. If you guys didn't get that, it's in the show notes, click it, join. You're gonna want to be part of the inner circle for sure. So can you tell our listeners where they can connect with you and learn more about how they could work with you? If you follow me on Instagram at shift, Peter, you'll get the best, um, synopsis of what I do with scissors and the other tools at my disposal to see if you might like hanging out with me.

Um, so we do this segment called Not Nice Advice, where you give, um, your straightforward, direct advice. This is not gonna be a problem for you to our listener who wrote it. Okay. So she says, I'm naturally introverted. Low key, and I hate being pushy, but every time I show up online, I feel like I'm supposed to perform, be loud, have big energy, constant hype.

Do I have to fake it to make it, or is there a way to sell without pretending to be someone that I'm not quiet but qualified? Oh, I love that. So it sounds to me like you have clarity on who you are and who you are not. And you also, which you're miles ahead of other people because you've identified that you're showing up as someone you're not.

Whereas a lot of other people don't understand why they hate creating content because they haven't figured out that they're not being themself online. I think you have to consider that it would be disingenuous of you if you present as someone, and when someone meets you, it's not the same thing. You wouldn't want that.

Right. What I love is when someone calls me because they discovered me online and they say, oh my God, I feel like I already know you. I don't get the feeling that you're the kind of person who'd be okay with lying to someone like that, that when they call you feeling like they already know you, they don't actually already know you.

So I think you gotta, you gotta maybe be the friend to people online that you want in return. You want people to be real with you. So maybe that's a gift you should give them. I love that. I love that. Yeah. Well, definitely clever crew. If you haven't yet followed her, follow her. We love you, Shiv. Thank you so much for being here with us today.

Yeah, thank you guys.